We had a conference call last week with our US department of state giving us a little hopeful news concerning the DRC lifting the suspension of exit letters. With not really any certainty, they tried to encourage us that it might happen in the next few months. But, we've been told that before.
However, I know that a sour attitude does not change a thing, so I will choose to be hopeful and believe in the system (ahem, eye roll). But, if I'm being honest, having another Christmas with 6 stockings and only 5 bodies in our house is just flat out depressing.
So, add that to some other REALLY BIG changes in our life, and this has been an interesting (and a little difficult) holiday season.
We are moving. Gah, the hardest three words to type.
Mitch was offered a job in Houston the week before Thanksgiving. He brought it to me, hoping that I would be so excited and say "YES!! LET'S GO!". Well, that is DEFINITELY not the response he got.
I have lived in Boerne more years of my life than not. My mom is here. My best friends in the world are here. My partner in crime is here. My village is here. My house is small, but perfect. My kids love their school, their friends, their church, their soccer team. My job is here. The ministries I have poured my heart out for are here. The church my kids have grown up in is here. We have deep, deep roots in this town (stretching back 22 years) and I was just NOT willing to let all of that go. Not without a fight.
So, enter selfish spoiled brat Katie. Fighting to the death to hold on to the dream of what she thought her life was supposed to look like. My kids were supposed to graduate from my alma mater (go hounds go!). Josiah was supposed to meet and know all of the people that had prayed for him, given money towards him coming home, and even RUN RACES for him. My mom was supposed to be an ever-present figure in my kid's lives (and mine!). I was going to grow old and grey with my friends and go to the weddings of their children...who were supposed to marry some of my children, of course. And I was supposed to continue to watch the ministries I love grow and change.
So, how does all THAT work if we live in HOUSTON??
Well, it doesn't.
But what DOES work is letting go of the expectations of what I thought our life would look like. Following my husband where he feels like God is leading us. Walking through the HARD things with my kids, pointing them to their ever-loving, faithful, GOOD God.
Because, what it really came down to was believing that Jesus was enough. Take away the comforts, the friends, the job, the ministry roles, the church... and accept that being somewhere new wasn't the end of me, but rather the chance to fully rely on the God I claim to rely on.
So, I finally said "okay". I did not say "Yippee!! LET'S DO IT" because I'm still not there yet. But, Mitch is excited and our kids are working on getting excited and that helps me crawl out of my pity party cave that I have dug. Although it is *pretty* cozy in here, so I will likely crawl back in occasionally.
Mitch will start soon, but the kids and I will stay here and finish out the school year (this gave them quite a bit of comfort). There will be plenty of time for all the sad goodbyes I have imagined in my head.
Meanwhile I will be working on letting go, trusting God, and supporting a pretty great man who I vowed to love, follow, and honor almost 15 years ago.
**Will you join me in praying that the Lord would give us the sweet gift of bringing Josiah home before we move? (This is the one thing I'm having a really hard time letting go of...) It IS possible and it would do this heart some serious good. **
Love each of you that have listened to me pour out my selfish, sad soul, and cry in the last few weeks (I still can't talk about it without crying). I am glad I have at least 6 more months with each of you. What a blessing you have been to me.
(Also, pray for my hair because...THE HUMIDITY.)
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
623 days and counting....
623 days ago we saw Jose's picture for the first time, accepted his referral, and considered him our son.
394 days ago we became the legal parents of Jose.
199 days ago we got to meet our 4th child face to face.
Every day has been a battle. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. It wasn't supposed to take this long, be this hard, or cost this much. Every expectation we had we have had to toss aside, swallow our pride and accept the reality of what IS.
The reality is we have zero control. Less than zero. A lesson I apparently needed to learn, but haven't learned without a fight. I went down kicking and screaming.
365 days ago they suspended all issuing of Exit letters. 12 months, they said. We will lift the suspension sometime within 12 months. Well, it has been 12 months.
We expected some sort of news this month, this week. Some movement. But, instead of positive news, we have heard some heartbreaking things that will more than likely have a very negative impact on the situation for all adoptive families. (I can't post many details about what is happening, but feel free to ask me privately. I know...so annoying.)
So, once again we wait for decisions to be made by a government we don't fully trust half a world away.
Each day that passes that number grows higher than I ever expected it to be. Each day Satan battles for my mind, and my trust in the Lord's sovereignty ebbs and flows. Have we made the right choices? Have we done all we could do? How do we go on with our life when part of us is halfway around the world? What if he never gets to come home...
So while we live out each day in this unknown place, I am so grateful for the little victories. The perfectly timed bible studies, the affirmation from friends, the surprising and undeserved gifts to help with the financial burden. All reminders that God is still there, He still cares, and He knew this was going to happen way before it did.
We are still waiting for the BIG victory. I do believe Josiah will come home. I let doubt creep in until I am reminded that it is not from the Lord. The victory will come. (repeat and then repeat again)
Thank you for those of you that ask, pray, and love us through this looooooong season. If you are tired of hearing about the waiting, and think "man! when is that kid gonna come home so I can stop hearing about it?!" Preach (my hand is up in the air).
Until then, keep praying. #josiahcomehome
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
It's a long story...
I am sitting in the mountains with extremely spotty and mostly non-existent signal. While this always makes me feel a bit like I lost my left arm at first, I know that it is beyond necessary to silence your life a bit.
The last few weeks have been hard. We have found some things out concerning our adoption of Josiah and it hasn't been good news. We have had to have hard talks and I have cried more than once. But God, in His wisdom, knew I would have time to stop and listen to Him while we have been in our favorite place and it has been encouraging for my heart.
The VERY basic gist is this:
The Congolese government allowed 27 adopted children to leave the DRC with their adoptive parents at the end of May. This was huge news. Some movement meant the ball was rolling and maybe we would be next. We were wrong.
They then told our State Department that the DRC government was going to write new laws concerning their adoption practices and would not even begin doing so until the fall when their parliament met again. Bad news #1.
Then they stated that some of the adoptions that had already been thoroughly investigated, processed, and given favorable judgements might be VOIDED and thrown out. Specifically ones with a single adoptive parent, or with more than two existing children in their home. And by my count, we have THREE rascals at home. Bad news #2.
More waiting and an even possible reversal of our own favorable judgement.
Meanwhile, our Jose is getting bigger. And we are paying what seems like an unreasonably large amount of foster fees each month.
For a while I just didn't talk about it. I didn't want to ask the dreaded question. Ignoring the problem is always the solution, no?
But finally I allowed myself to go there.
What if we never get to bring him home? What if we are never a family...TOGETHER?
Do we continue to pay foster fees (which have now totaled up to $5,000 on top of the $30,000 we have already paid in attorney, agency and country fees) FOREVER?
What happens to him if they throw our adoption judgement out? Where does he go? What does his life look like?
What does OUR life look like? How does this make sense? This 4 year journey that could end like this?
I have mourned the fact that school will start in less than two months and ALL my kids will be going. In any other world, this would make me jump for joy. But it wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to have this other babe sitting on my hip and destroying my house and singing from the car seat in the back and making soccer practices more difficult because of early bed times. So, September doesn't feel like freedom. I dread it.
Then I got here. To the mountains that I swear God made just for me. I stopped going between fretting and ignoring and started listening. And God told me this through the pretty rad book The Circle Maker:
Keep circling Jericho.
In the Spring of 2010 God specifically told me He was going to add to our family through adoption. I didn't know what that would look like and where it would take us when I first shared that with Mitch. (If I knew then what we would be in store for, I may have kept quiet a little longer.) But that promise from God was as clear as day to me.
And God's promise (and instructions) to Joshua were pretty clear too: March. And then march some more. And God would give them victory. What if they had stopped one circle too soon? They would have missed out.
So we know that we have to keep circling. Even though sometimes it feels crazy and hopeless and endless. I don't want to stop too soon. I don't want to mentally throw my hands up and give in to the State Department's notifications that DRC adoption is doomed.
We don't have answers to any of the questions I asked above. But I am happy to say that last week, the House of Representatives Foreign Affairs committee voted in favor of HR588, legislation urging the DRC to expedite exit letters and for them to uphold the previous judgements made on adoptions before the suspension. And YOU can help!! Call, write, or email your representative and show your support for HR588 which will be voted on in the House soon. The link below takes you to more info and links to send letters:
https://bothendsburning.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/DRC-Results-Press-Release.pdf
So, we will praise God for the promise and the victory and will keep circling. Even though it feels crazy and endless and sometimes hopeless. 
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
"His Birthday"
The last night we were in Kinshasa, as I was laying in bed heartbroken that we had to say goodbye the next day, I felt like God spoke something to me. It felt very vague and I have tried to make sense of it ever since then, but I mostly have kept it to myself.
As weird as it may sound, I feel like in my super dramatic anguish that night, God whispered "his birthday".
Ummm, what? What about "his birthday"? "His birthday" isn't really even the actual day of his birth. He was abandoned, so that means we will never know his real birthday. This random date on his birth certificate, July 27, is only a guess (and probably not a very accurate one at that).
Soooo, what about "his birthday", God? What do you want me to do with that?
In the weeks that have passed since we flew out of the Congo, I still feel like I hear God reminding me of this. I have shared this with Mitch and only just a few other friends because mostly it sounds crazy and like maybe I made it up that night to make myself feel better. But, I feel pretty confident that I didn't and want to share it with you now so you will pray something very specific with me:
For Josiah to be HOME by HIS BIRTHDAY... July 27.
Do I feel like God promised me that? No. I am still not very clear on why He would choose those specific, but vague, words to speak to me. But, how could I ignore that there must be some significance in hearing that?
The news we received two weeks ago of the DGM's stubbornness and refusal to open until September definitely caused serious doubts about the probability of him coming home anytime before that.
But, I am still choosing to pray BOLDLY for "his birthday". It is not impossible. Because He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).
So, while we beg God to move mountains to bring him home by July, we now have the chance to advocate for Josiah and the other families who are STUCK in this mess as well through our own government.
While our Department of State has made some effort in helping this situation, they really honestly could be and should be doing so much more.
Over the next week, we have been asked by a notable adoption attorney and advocacy group, who has taken up the plight of the DRC families, to flood our state Senator's offices with requests to take our cause to Washington.
We would love for our friends to take part in this as well! Many of you already have and we are so grateful! It only takes a few minutes to send an email, fax or make a call. I will post the links below and then also give you basically word for word what you can say or write.
I believe that God can use this to bring our boy home by his birthday. Will you help us overwhelm our Senators and break their hearts for these children who are stuck without families? And then will you join with us as we pray for Jose to be able to celebrate his birthday with cake and candles and FAMILY around him right here in Boerne, Texas?
Bold prayers honor God, and God honors bold prayers. God isn’t offended by your biggest dreams or boldest prayers. He is offended by anything less. {Mark Batterson}
Thank you!!
Links to Senators:
Write Senator Cornyn
Write Senator Cruz
{SAMPLE LETTER}
Your name
123 Main Street
You city
and state
Dear (Senator, Congressman, or Congresswomen __________),
My
name is [Insert Your Name] and I reside at [Insert Your Address] in [Insert
Your City], Texas. My friends,
Mitchell and Kathryn Fickey are adopting from Democratic Republic of Congo and
have been waiting several months to bring their child home. His name is Joseph Pambu and he is 20
months old.
I am
writing you to ask for help in uniting this family. Currently the DRC has suspended issuing exit letters, (this
is issued by the DRC government and is needed to leave the county). Their
adoption is complete and Joseph is their child but cannot leave the country.
The Department of State has sent a delegation to DRC and are planning a DRC
delegation to come here but the officials who are coming are not from the DGM
office, which is where the problems lie.
They are saying the suspension was put in place because they have
concerns about the welfare of the children who are already in the US and want
to see them and the parents. Why
is the DOS not addressing that issue with them? At the present time there are approximately 130 children
sitting in DRC with US visa but cannot cross any boarders to come home and approximately
500 children are in the adoption
process. Please we need a solution to get these children home. For everyday
extra they stay is a day they may get sick and die. DRC is the second poorest
country in the world, 40% of children
do not make it until their 5th birthday, and most people eat
only 2-4 meal a week. Recently 31
children died of dysentery in an orphanage. Please we need your help.
I
appreciate your help and ask that you please send me a response letting me know
if you have reached out to the Department of State and expressed your concern
for the welfare of these children.
Thank
you for your time and considering my request.
Sincerely,
Friday, March 21, 2014
Sad news....
So remember in my last post when I mentioned the delegation from the US Department of State coming to Kinshasa at the same time as we were there? Well, today we got an update. And it wasn't good news.
We were able to listen in on a conference call set up by the Dept of State, the US Citizen and Immigration Service, and the US Embassy in Kinshasa. Adoption agencies who had programs in the DRC and adoptive families whose children are stuck in country were able to take part as well.
First of all, let me mention what an AMAZING thing it is that our Department of State has taken part in this and is doing this much for these kids and this program. This is not the norm in the international adoption world. We are so grateful that our government has taken such efforts to travel to DRC, to meet with officials, to try and convince them of the legitimacy and integrity of the American adoption process, and then to relay the info back to us. For all the ways our government has frustrated us in this process, they have more than made up for it in the way they have handled this. So cheers America. Well, done.
Now, the bad news. Just to catch you up..,the DGM (which is like the Congo's state department) is the agency that issues the exit letter to the Congolese adopted child saying they can take their valid US Visa and their completely vetted US parents and actually leave the country, shut down back in September. This "temporary closure" happened because some officials had heard reports that homosexuals were adopting Congolese children and/or that Americans were abusing the children once back in the states. Now, I can't speak to these specific reports. What I can speak to is that now there are children stuck in their country. Children with families. I heard parents crying on this teleconference today. Their babies are sick and need medical treatment. Or their spouse is stuck in the country because when they thought they could come home with their kids back in September they stayed and waited and waited for their exit letter (all the while bonding with their new child) and now refuse to leave without their babies. That's SIX MONTHS now y'all. So families are split up as one spouse cares for their Congolese child and the other stays in the States working and caring for their other children. I just cannot even imagine.
So, the basic news that they gave us from their trip was this: The DGM won't let anyone tell them what to do and they will re-open when they want to. Which will not be any sooner than SEPTEMBER.
This is definitely NOT the news we wanted to hear. This is NOT what we were hoping for nor what we expected. This news to an already fragile heart right now has sunk me a little deeper into sadness. Josiah needs to be home with us now. At any given moment, I am picturing what he would be doing at that exact moment if he had come home with us. Sam on a tricycle...of course Jose would be riding on the back. Dinner time...always that empty chair that sits there. Of course Jose would probably NOT be sitting in it, but he would definitely be crawling all around it. Everything just seems so incomplete now. This was hard news.
It's so easy to be angry at the DGM. At the Congolese government. At Congolese people as a whole sometimes. It's easy to point fingers and blame certain entities for the languishing of orphans when they could be set in families (and I should also mention that Americans are not the only nation adopting from DRC. Canada, France, Italy, and Belgium adopt more children than Americans do, actually). Mitch and I left for the Congo two weeks ago thinking that we had a good grasp on their history and their present, but as we discovered...we had no idea. We have learned so much more. I have become obsessed with reading anything I can, probably just trying to make sense of the things that we saw and experienced while we were there.
I have to choose to not be angry at them. Because we just don't know what it has been like or continues to be like for them. I have had people say to me (mostly from people who have been to Uganda or Ethiopia or other fairly settled countries) as I explain the Congo, "oh yeah, Africa, it's so crazy there." But y'all. It's so beyond that. My heart physically hurts as I read and know more. Like why the hell don't we know about this? Why don't we know that in some ways, the American government is responsible for this?
Did you know that the DRC is the POOREST country in the world? That it holds the title of MOST DANGEROUS COUNTRY FOR WOMEN? That the WORST WAR SINCE WWII took place in Congo? That it is the MOST CORRUPT COUNTRY in the world? That it is THE RAPE CAPITAL?
Are you kidding me? If you care at all about Jose's country or better yet, if you care at all about humanity and hurting people, I encourage you to read THIS ARTICLE. It gives the best overview of the history of violence and oppression in DRC and also doesn't gloss over the fact that the West played a pretty vital role in that.
So, as much as I hate this. As much as I want to find someone to hate and cuss about, I can't let myself find the scapegoat in the Congolese government and people. From where I sit, in my cushy American house, these people are doing the best they can. They may hate American adoption, and they may not be able to care for their orphans themselves and that may confuse the hell out of me, but being angry and hateful makes me not be able to hurt for them. And I do. And you should too.
I have had some thoughts recently that what I had hoped from the beginning that our adoption story would maybe inspire someone someday to adopt internationally (because let me remind you again the need is REAL. And these babies are REAL.) has more realistically driven people to RUN away from international adoption. Even the people who have a HUGE heart for adoption have said to me "yeah, that's crazy. And there are kids here. So we choose adoption through foster care". And let me tell you, I would probably have too if I had witnessed this as a bystander.
But, I am still praying. I am still hopeful that someone out there will choose to fight for these kids. For just ONE kid SOMEwhere. Even if it's a three year PAINFUL journey like ours. And that you have to sacrifice and scrape and fundraise to make it happen. Because in all the ways I have doubted this journey we are on, I am more confident than ever that we were called to international adoption and that we are called to advocate for the international orphan.
So, we will keep fighting for our ONE kid SOMEwhere. Because he matters. And we love him. And my heart hurts thinking we will probably not get to celebrate his birthday with him AGAIN.
But, God showed me this verse this week in my quiet time, and I have decided it's my new life motto. I may even get it tattooed somewhere.
It's the story of David handing over the building of the temple to Solomon. David says to him "Take this seriously. The Lord has chosen you. So be strong, and do the work."
BE STRONG AND DO THE WORK. So, I choose to suck it up, choose love and compassion instead of anger, and do the work. The work of loving a kid so far away and getting ready to bring him home some day. Because it WILL happen.
David ends his speech to Solomon by saying, "Don't be discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord, my God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." What a gift this was to read this this week and have it so engraved on my heart before today.
We were able to listen in on a conference call set up by the Dept of State, the US Citizen and Immigration Service, and the US Embassy in Kinshasa. Adoption agencies who had programs in the DRC and adoptive families whose children are stuck in country were able to take part as well.
First of all, let me mention what an AMAZING thing it is that our Department of State has taken part in this and is doing this much for these kids and this program. This is not the norm in the international adoption world. We are so grateful that our government has taken such efforts to travel to DRC, to meet with officials, to try and convince them of the legitimacy and integrity of the American adoption process, and then to relay the info back to us. For all the ways our government has frustrated us in this process, they have more than made up for it in the way they have handled this. So cheers America. Well, done.
Now, the bad news. Just to catch you up..,the DGM (which is like the Congo's state department) is the agency that issues the exit letter to the Congolese adopted child saying they can take their valid US Visa and their completely vetted US parents and actually leave the country, shut down back in September. This "temporary closure" happened because some officials had heard reports that homosexuals were adopting Congolese children and/or that Americans were abusing the children once back in the states. Now, I can't speak to these specific reports. What I can speak to is that now there are children stuck in their country. Children with families. I heard parents crying on this teleconference today. Their babies are sick and need medical treatment. Or their spouse is stuck in the country because when they thought they could come home with their kids back in September they stayed and waited and waited for their exit letter (all the while bonding with their new child) and now refuse to leave without their babies. That's SIX MONTHS now y'all. So families are split up as one spouse cares for their Congolese child and the other stays in the States working and caring for their other children. I just cannot even imagine.
So, the basic news that they gave us from their trip was this: The DGM won't let anyone tell them what to do and they will re-open when they want to. Which will not be any sooner than SEPTEMBER.
This is definitely NOT the news we wanted to hear. This is NOT what we were hoping for nor what we expected. This news to an already fragile heart right now has sunk me a little deeper into sadness. Josiah needs to be home with us now. At any given moment, I am picturing what he would be doing at that exact moment if he had come home with us. Sam on a tricycle...of course Jose would be riding on the back. Dinner time...always that empty chair that sits there. Of course Jose would probably NOT be sitting in it, but he would definitely be crawling all around it. Everything just seems so incomplete now. This was hard news.
It's so easy to be angry at the DGM. At the Congolese government. At Congolese people as a whole sometimes. It's easy to point fingers and blame certain entities for the languishing of orphans when they could be set in families (and I should also mention that Americans are not the only nation adopting from DRC. Canada, France, Italy, and Belgium adopt more children than Americans do, actually). Mitch and I left for the Congo two weeks ago thinking that we had a good grasp on their history and their present, but as we discovered...we had no idea. We have learned so much more. I have become obsessed with reading anything I can, probably just trying to make sense of the things that we saw and experienced while we were there.
I have to choose to not be angry at them. Because we just don't know what it has been like or continues to be like for them. I have had people say to me (mostly from people who have been to Uganda or Ethiopia or other fairly settled countries) as I explain the Congo, "oh yeah, Africa, it's so crazy there." But y'all. It's so beyond that. My heart physically hurts as I read and know more. Like why the hell don't we know about this? Why don't we know that in some ways, the American government is responsible for this?
Did you know that the DRC is the POOREST country in the world? That it holds the title of MOST DANGEROUS COUNTRY FOR WOMEN? That the WORST WAR SINCE WWII took place in Congo? That it is the MOST CORRUPT COUNTRY in the world? That it is THE RAPE CAPITAL?
Are you kidding me? If you care at all about Jose's country or better yet, if you care at all about humanity and hurting people, I encourage you to read THIS ARTICLE. It gives the best overview of the history of violence and oppression in DRC and also doesn't gloss over the fact that the West played a pretty vital role in that.
So, as much as I hate this. As much as I want to find someone to hate and cuss about, I can't let myself find the scapegoat in the Congolese government and people. From where I sit, in my cushy American house, these people are doing the best they can. They may hate American adoption, and they may not be able to care for their orphans themselves and that may confuse the hell out of me, but being angry and hateful makes me not be able to hurt for them. And I do. And you should too.
I have had some thoughts recently that what I had hoped from the beginning that our adoption story would maybe inspire someone someday to adopt internationally (because let me remind you again the need is REAL. And these babies are REAL.) has more realistically driven people to RUN away from international adoption. Even the people who have a HUGE heart for adoption have said to me "yeah, that's crazy. And there are kids here. So we choose adoption through foster care". And let me tell you, I would probably have too if I had witnessed this as a bystander.
But, I am still praying. I am still hopeful that someone out there will choose to fight for these kids. For just ONE kid SOMEwhere. Even if it's a three year PAINFUL journey like ours. And that you have to sacrifice and scrape and fundraise to make it happen. Because in all the ways I have doubted this journey we are on, I am more confident than ever that we were called to international adoption and that we are called to advocate for the international orphan.
So, we will keep fighting for our ONE kid SOMEwhere. Because he matters. And we love him. And my heart hurts thinking we will probably not get to celebrate his birthday with him AGAIN.
But, God showed me this verse this week in my quiet time, and I have decided it's my new life motto. I may even get it tattooed somewhere.
It's the story of David handing over the building of the temple to Solomon. David says to him "Take this seriously. The Lord has chosen you. So be strong, and do the work."
BE STRONG AND DO THE WORK. So, I choose to suck it up, choose love and compassion instead of anger, and do the work. The work of loving a kid so far away and getting ready to bring him home some day. Because it WILL happen.
David ends his speech to Solomon by saying, "Don't be discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord, my God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." What a gift this was to read this this week and have it so engraved on my heart before today.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Our trip
This blog post is long. And it might be too much detail for most of you. But I tried in my mind to boil this trip down to just a few main points, and it was just too hard. There are too many times God protected us and guided us and allowed us to fall totally in love with this kid and it's worth sharing.
So, if you get bored and give up, I won't blame you. But if you make it through this crazy story there is a little gift for you in the end….a video of the cutest kid ever.
Day 1:
We traveled to Atlanta only to arrive late because of rain and ran, RAN, to our next gate for our connection to Paris only to arrive completely out of breath and too late. We were sent to the help desk where we waited for someone to fix this gigantic problem. I was beyond frustrated. Knowing that each missed connection meant longer until we got there. I may have cried a little. I also may have wanted to yell at someone until they fixed our problem. But obviously that would not have helped (we saw many people doing this and no, it did not get them to their destination any faster). God matched us up with this precious and fire-y French woman who worked and worked to make it right. It did mean we had to stay in Atlanta overnight with no luggage. And it did mean the only flight we could make was a 16 hour one to Johannesburg where we didn't even have seats together. But, they extended our trip on the other end so we ended up with more time in Kinshasa than we would have to begin with. Grateful.
Day 2:
Still traveling. Not really sure what time it is or what time zone we are in, we arrive in South Africa for a short layover before flying to Kinshasa. Trouble with our boarding passes. More time spent in line trying to fix the problem.
We finally board the plane for Kinshasa. I prayed and read Psalm 91 the entire time. I was beyond nervous about arriving in the DRC. We knew that coming into the country with our travel visas could be tricky and we knew just enough about the security/police force there to make us feel uncomfortable. This turned out to be completely justified.
The Kinshasa airport is tiny and old. We got off the plane on the tarmac and walked to the passport entry area. Somehow we ended up last in line. And of course we are pretty easily identifiable as Americans, so without going into too much detail, there were lots of dirty looks, some bribes requested, guards following us, and people scamming us. Welcome to KINSHASA! :) God, once again, proved faithful and put a local girl who was traveling as well there to help us. She interpreted for us, she stood up to them for us and she stayed with us until our driver came to pick us up. (Did I mention this was all happening around midnight which made it seem so much more dramatic?)
Deep breath as we crawled into the car with the driver and our attorney. And then the driving began. No more deep breaths. When you picture crazy driving, you probably picture Mexico. Mexico doesn't hold a candle to this. Trust me. Swerving, honking, people crossing the boulevard and no one even slows down, people hanging out of vans, sitting on top of vans, smashed inside the vans. It was amazing and scary at the same time.
We finally arrived at the guest house and tried to get a good nights sleep knowing we were meeting J the next day.
Day 3:
We had asked for J's foster mom to come as well as an interpreter so we could talk with her and they arrived mid morning. She had dressed him in his nicest clothes and he came walking up like he was supposed to be there all along. What a crazy moment it was to see in person the boy you have been praying for and loved for three years. There he was...those eyes, lips, little bow-legs we had only seen in pictures. And he didn't know who the heck we were. We were honestly, probably the first white people he had ever seen. It didn't seem to matter that much to him though.
We were able to chat with Mama Miss for a few hours as well as walk to the store across the street so she could show us what he liked to eat (which we found out was EVERYTHING). She told us how strong, brave, and friendly he was. And also warned us that he breaks EVERYTHING. You could tell she loved him. (But you could also tell she was ready for a break!)
Then they left. The attorneys, the interpreter, the foster mama. It was just us and him. Mama Miss had right away told him we were Mama and Papa and he called us that from the first minute. How sweet it was to hear that from his mouth. He was confused at first, for sure. I know from reading tons about adoptive children, that easy attachment is not necessarily a good thing, if they attach super quick to you it means they can attach super quick to anyone. He didn't do that. He was friendly but guarded. He cried when Mama Miss left but we were able to comfort him and distract him. It's amazing how much bonding can be had over a tiny ball or a puzzle.
Day 4-6:
We spent the majority of our time just playing. Reading books, wandering around in the courtyard at the guest house, frantically searching the French dictionary to figure out what he was saying, only to realize that he was saying it in Lingala instead. We taught him some English words, like eyes, nose, mouth, yucky, and NO. We quickly discovered he had probably not been told "No" that much in his life.
The excitement of being with him was soon met with the reality that this is a TODDLER. And an ACTIVE toddler at that. We haven't had a toddler in a few years and had to remind ourselves quickly how different that is! But he was so easy to teach and love. He was full of life and never stopped moving and dancing. We also discovered that we are pretty sure he is older than they guessed. The size 6 shoes I brought for him didn't begin to fit and some of the clothes I brought for an 18-24 month old didn't either. He has great gross and fine-motor skills and lots of vocabulary (even if we didn't know most of it).
He was amazing. We saw how undeniably perfect he fits into our family. He imitates everything (perfect for big brothers) and wants to be with you and hold your hand (perfect for big sister). He will bring such life and joy to our house (and he will probably break a bunch of stuff too).
We soaked up every second. Playing, napping, eating, chasing lizards and balls, showering (he had never done that before...only sponge baths), and sleeping and cuddling. While a little guarded the first day, we saw him warm up and giggle and laugh and love us back. You could tell he doesn't get attention and interaction like that. We know Mama Miss loves him and cares for him, but culture-wise, all the interaction and attention we gave him was new to him. Mitch made the observation that it was almost like he didn't know how to just flat out giggle. Like pee your pants giggle. Mitch made sure to tickle and flip and throw him a ton to break him in. And by the end, we heard some real belly laughs.
We left the guest house just a few times. We drove out to a chimpanzee preserve way out of town and saw a lot of life in Kinshasa. It was crazy. Beyond what I could have ever thought. The people are beautiful and busy. They work hard and have little. The people of the Congo have been through SO.MUCH. Like it blows my mind how, since the days of Belgium colonization, their lives have been filled with violence and oppression. This has affected their culture, their attitude towards westerners, their family structures, their safety. It has affected everything.
I have to be honest and tell you that because of extremely false information spread by a select few in DRC, the idea of Americans adopting Congolese is not hugely popular. (there was a rumor that adoptive Americans were selling babies for their organs. What.) This made me feel constantly watched and fairly uncomfortable. But there was never once that I doubted our calling to Josiah there. The need in DRC is unimaginable. Hundreds of kids are abandoned and orphaned constantly. The orphanages have no support, so most kids end up on the street. There is little being done to help families stay together. Mostly because the government structure is weak and most western countries' churches are too fearful to serve in missions there. Local fostering doesn't happen without adoptive support. And most families are already caring for other additional children. So the need was never in question, but we did have to choose to be sensitive and thoughtful about our actions while we were there (which meant we didn't parade around town while holding Josiah).
We were able to spend a lot of time with our interpreter, Billy, who consequently became our friend. He shared a lot of insight with us about this country that he loved so much. These people are hungry for the gospel. They are hungry for their country to be more than it is or has been. We met Billy's brother who is a pastor at a tiny urban church (which he built with his own two hands). They are eager and in need of ministry partners and we were so happy God led us to this relationship. We know God ordained this friendship and opened our eyes to this for a reason. We pray that we are faithful to the things God laid before us and that more people will be led to Jesus as a result.
Day 7:
This is the day we had to hand Josiah back over. Wait. Have I mentioned that his name there is Jose? Not like the Spanish Jose (Hose-ay) but the French Jose (Jo-say). Which we loved and called him the whole time we were there.
I dreaded this moment. I actually laid awake the night before and bawled my eyes out fearing this moment. We knew what we were getting into. We knew this is how it would end. But it was still hard. I held it together pretty well and he was happy to see Mama Miss and also to get to ride in a car (also something he doesn't do very often). He waved and they drove off.
We know this isn't the last time we will see him. We know that he is OURS and we will be able to bring him home at some point. But the waiting. Ugh. Now the waiting seems so much harder.
We were able to spend a good amount of time with our attorney discussing our case and the Embassy investigation. While we were there, a delegation from the US Department of State came to Kinshasa and visited with DRC officials to figure out how to solve the problems. Our attorney was confident that the issue will be resolved and had good insights into our case as well. We felt like our questions were answered and our issues were put to rest.
There is not much that we can do on our end. We will continue to communicate with the Embassy and nudge our case forward. We will pray for the delegation from the DRC that will be traveling to the US next week to visit DRC adoptive families. We pray they will be convinced that these kids are happy and healthy (with ALL their organs) here with their new families and will lift the suspension on Exit Letters within the month.
The time was short there so we were urged by our agency the day before we left to wait until our next trip to visit the orphanage. I was sad we weren't going to get the chance to deliver all the small gifts everyone had donated, but knew she was probably right. Our time was limited and the reason we were going this time was just to meet and bond with J. We still have them and will definitely be visiting on our next trip. Thank you for your hearts for those orphans. The cars and crayons and stuffed animals will make a trip to Africa, I promise.
Coming home was a whirlwind of more airport problems and long and delayed flights. But, it hit me hard once we were finally home that our house now feels a little empty. It's definitely missing a lively 2 year old little boy.
I am so confident in the decision we made to travel and visit Josiah. I know there were some who questioned our reasoning a little bit, and I understand. I probably would too. But, we have zero regrets. We left a photo book of us and the kids with J as well as a recordable story book and the other toys we played with while we were together. This kid is smart. He will remember us, I'm sure of it.
So, if you're still reading, thank you. I hope that wasn't a waste of your time. Thank you for praying for us. God shook my world a little bit (maybe a lot) and it was comforting knowing we weren't really alone.
Now, enjoy a minute of the pure delight we got to experience for 5 days
So, if you get bored and give up, I won't blame you. But if you make it through this crazy story there is a little gift for you in the end….a video of the cutest kid ever.
Day 1:
We traveled to Atlanta only to arrive late because of rain and ran, RAN, to our next gate for our connection to Paris only to arrive completely out of breath and too late. We were sent to the help desk where we waited for someone to fix this gigantic problem. I was beyond frustrated. Knowing that each missed connection meant longer until we got there. I may have cried a little. I also may have wanted to yell at someone until they fixed our problem. But obviously that would not have helped (we saw many people doing this and no, it did not get them to their destination any faster). God matched us up with this precious and fire-y French woman who worked and worked to make it right. It did mean we had to stay in Atlanta overnight with no luggage. And it did mean the only flight we could make was a 16 hour one to Johannesburg where we didn't even have seats together. But, they extended our trip on the other end so we ended up with more time in Kinshasa than we would have to begin with. Grateful.
Day 2:
Still traveling. Not really sure what time it is or what time zone we are in, we arrive in South Africa for a short layover before flying to Kinshasa. Trouble with our boarding passes. More time spent in line trying to fix the problem.
We finally board the plane for Kinshasa. I prayed and read Psalm 91 the entire time. I was beyond nervous about arriving in the DRC. We knew that coming into the country with our travel visas could be tricky and we knew just enough about the security/police force there to make us feel uncomfortable. This turned out to be completely justified.
The Kinshasa airport is tiny and old. We got off the plane on the tarmac and walked to the passport entry area. Somehow we ended up last in line. And of course we are pretty easily identifiable as Americans, so without going into too much detail, there were lots of dirty looks, some bribes requested, guards following us, and people scamming us. Welcome to KINSHASA! :) God, once again, proved faithful and put a local girl who was traveling as well there to help us. She interpreted for us, she stood up to them for us and she stayed with us until our driver came to pick us up. (Did I mention this was all happening around midnight which made it seem so much more dramatic?)
Deep breath as we crawled into the car with the driver and our attorney. And then the driving began. No more deep breaths. When you picture crazy driving, you probably picture Mexico. Mexico doesn't hold a candle to this. Trust me. Swerving, honking, people crossing the boulevard and no one even slows down, people hanging out of vans, sitting on top of vans, smashed inside the vans. It was amazing and scary at the same time.
We finally arrived at the guest house and tried to get a good nights sleep knowing we were meeting J the next day.
Day 3:
We had asked for J's foster mom to come as well as an interpreter so we could talk with her and they arrived mid morning. She had dressed him in his nicest clothes and he came walking up like he was supposed to be there all along. What a crazy moment it was to see in person the boy you have been praying for and loved for three years. There he was...those eyes, lips, little bow-legs we had only seen in pictures. And he didn't know who the heck we were. We were honestly, probably the first white people he had ever seen. It didn't seem to matter that much to him though.
We were able to chat with Mama Miss for a few hours as well as walk to the store across the street so she could show us what he liked to eat (which we found out was EVERYTHING). She told us how strong, brave, and friendly he was. And also warned us that he breaks EVERYTHING. You could tell she loved him. (But you could also tell she was ready for a break!)
Then they left. The attorneys, the interpreter, the foster mama. It was just us and him. Mama Miss had right away told him we were Mama and Papa and he called us that from the first minute. How sweet it was to hear that from his mouth. He was confused at first, for sure. I know from reading tons about adoptive children, that easy attachment is not necessarily a good thing, if they attach super quick to you it means they can attach super quick to anyone. He didn't do that. He was friendly but guarded. He cried when Mama Miss left but we were able to comfort him and distract him. It's amazing how much bonding can be had over a tiny ball or a puzzle.
Day 4-6:
We spent the majority of our time just playing. Reading books, wandering around in the courtyard at the guest house, frantically searching the French dictionary to figure out what he was saying, only to realize that he was saying it in Lingala instead. We taught him some English words, like eyes, nose, mouth, yucky, and NO. We quickly discovered he had probably not been told "No" that much in his life.
The excitement of being with him was soon met with the reality that this is a TODDLER. And an ACTIVE toddler at that. We haven't had a toddler in a few years and had to remind ourselves quickly how different that is! But he was so easy to teach and love. He was full of life and never stopped moving and dancing. We also discovered that we are pretty sure he is older than they guessed. The size 6 shoes I brought for him didn't begin to fit and some of the clothes I brought for an 18-24 month old didn't either. He has great gross and fine-motor skills and lots of vocabulary (even if we didn't know most of it).
 |
| First day...wasn't so sure about us. |
He was amazing. We saw how undeniably perfect he fits into our family. He imitates everything (perfect for big brothers) and wants to be with you and hold your hand (perfect for big sister). He will bring such life and joy to our house (and he will probably break a bunch of stuff too).
 |
We left the guest house just a few times. We drove out to a chimpanzee preserve way out of town and saw a lot of life in Kinshasa. It was crazy. Beyond what I could have ever thought. The people are beautiful and busy. They work hard and have little. The people of the Congo have been through SO.MUCH. Like it blows my mind how, since the days of Belgium colonization, their lives have been filled with violence and oppression. This has affected their culture, their attitude towards westerners, their family structures, their safety. It has affected everything.
I have to be honest and tell you that because of extremely false information spread by a select few in DRC, the idea of Americans adopting Congolese is not hugely popular. (there was a rumor that adoptive Americans were selling babies for their organs. What.) This made me feel constantly watched and fairly uncomfortable. But there was never once that I doubted our calling to Josiah there. The need in DRC is unimaginable. Hundreds of kids are abandoned and orphaned constantly. The orphanages have no support, so most kids end up on the street. There is little being done to help families stay together. Mostly because the government structure is weak and most western countries' churches are too fearful to serve in missions there. Local fostering doesn't happen without adoptive support. And most families are already caring for other additional children. So the need was never in question, but we did have to choose to be sensitive and thoughtful about our actions while we were there (which meant we didn't parade around town while holding Josiah).
We were able to spend a lot of time with our interpreter, Billy, who consequently became our friend. He shared a lot of insight with us about this country that he loved so much. These people are hungry for the gospel. They are hungry for their country to be more than it is or has been. We met Billy's brother who is a pastor at a tiny urban church (which he built with his own two hands). They are eager and in need of ministry partners and we were so happy God led us to this relationship. We know God ordained this friendship and opened our eyes to this for a reason. We pray that we are faithful to the things God laid before us and that more people will be led to Jesus as a result.
Day 7:
This is the day we had to hand Josiah back over. Wait. Have I mentioned that his name there is Jose? Not like the Spanish Jose (Hose-ay) but the French Jose (Jo-say). Which we loved and called him the whole time we were there.
I dreaded this moment. I actually laid awake the night before and bawled my eyes out fearing this moment. We knew what we were getting into. We knew this is how it would end. But it was still hard. I held it together pretty well and he was happy to see Mama Miss and also to get to ride in a car (also something he doesn't do very often). He waved and they drove off.
We know this isn't the last time we will see him. We know that he is OURS and we will be able to bring him home at some point. But the waiting. Ugh. Now the waiting seems so much harder.
We were able to spend a good amount of time with our attorney discussing our case and the Embassy investigation. While we were there, a delegation from the US Department of State came to Kinshasa and visited with DRC officials to figure out how to solve the problems. Our attorney was confident that the issue will be resolved and had good insights into our case as well. We felt like our questions were answered and our issues were put to rest.
There is not much that we can do on our end. We will continue to communicate with the Embassy and nudge our case forward. We will pray for the delegation from the DRC that will be traveling to the US next week to visit DRC adoptive families. We pray they will be convinced that these kids are happy and healthy (with ALL their organs) here with their new families and will lift the suspension on Exit Letters within the month.
The time was short there so we were urged by our agency the day before we left to wait until our next trip to visit the orphanage. I was sad we weren't going to get the chance to deliver all the small gifts everyone had donated, but knew she was probably right. Our time was limited and the reason we were going this time was just to meet and bond with J. We still have them and will definitely be visiting on our next trip. Thank you for your hearts for those orphans. The cars and crayons and stuffed animals will make a trip to Africa, I promise.
Coming home was a whirlwind of more airport problems and long and delayed flights. But, it hit me hard once we were finally home that our house now feels a little empty. It's definitely missing a lively 2 year old little boy.
I am so confident in the decision we made to travel and visit Josiah. I know there were some who questioned our reasoning a little bit, and I understand. I probably would too. But, we have zero regrets. We left a photo book of us and the kids with J as well as a recordable story book and the other toys we played with while we were together. This kid is smart. He will remember us, I'm sure of it.
So, if you're still reading, thank you. I hope that wasn't a waste of your time. Thank you for praying for us. God shook my world a little bit (maybe a lot) and it was comforting knowing we weren't really alone.
Now, enjoy a minute of the pure delight we got to experience for 5 days
Thursday, February 13, 2014
BIG NEWS
So this happened today...
Yellow fever shots for both of us. Because....we are traveling to the DRC in less than 3 weeks. Yes, I just said that.
We are going to meet and hold and kiss Josiah for about a week. We will get to meet his foster mom and see the Congo for the first time. He will get to stay with us the whole time we are there, so that is both AMAZING and also heart-breaking...because he will not get to come home with us. And we will have to hand him back over to his foster mom and get on a plane to come home. (note to self: no make-up on that day.)
We are also hoping to go to the US embassy in Kinshasa and put a face to our file. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read THIS post.)
Please pray for us as we prepare to travel. It has left me anxious like nothing else. Lots to think about and do (which means lots to over-analyze and worry about).
Pray that we (specifically ME...Mitch is cool as a cucumber) wouldn't let the enemy convince us of all the bad things that are possible and that we trust His provision, both for our finances for this unexpected trip and our well-being and safety while we are there, as well as our hearts. This will be HARD. But we are ready. Three years in the making....
Will keep you updated as we get closer!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Sad news...
We got some pretty terrible news yesterday. It's a very long and complicated story (just ask the few people who I actually tried to explain it to), but the basic gist is that the United States Citizen and Immigration Service (USCIS) has found issue with our I600 application (which is an application we file to make an "immigrant" (ie Josiah) an immediate relative...this is the first step in the US giving him a visa to be able to even enter the US at all).
I mentioned this on facebook about a month ago. But, for those that don't know...we started this application process immediately after we got Josiah's court approval in October. They have sent it back three different times requesting more information on his case and threatening denial. This last time was the beginning of January and our attorney in the DRC had to hunt down documents that just didn't exist. He did what he could, but I had this sinking feeling when I sent off this last bunch of paperwork, that this was not going to satisfy USCIS.
Yesterday morning I got an email from our USCIS officer stating that they had forwarded our case on to the US Embassy in Kinshasa for investigation (there is SO MUCH MORE to this story so if you really want to know all of that, feel free to ask but it's just too much and too complicated to try and explain on here). This was not good news. This means there is something in our case and in Josiah's court documents that they want investigated. We have a strong feeling it is the abandonment stuff that is the issue. The US wants to make sure that no human trafficking is happening, which of course we totally AGREE. But, I can't even tell you how many documents (in BOTH English AND French) we have stating that he was abandoned. There is not much else we can. So the Embassy will now launch their own investigation. Track down the people that found him, where he was taken, etc.
So what does this mean? It means that his case is now sitting on the desk of a US Embassy employee in Kinshasa and will be investigated when they have the manpower to do it. We have no timeframe. They made SURE to make that clear to us. Our best bet is to call the US Embassy later this week and make sure they received our case. Put a voice and "face" to our file. Make sure they know we are real people, with a real waiting child. And then we wait.
I kind of had a break down in the midst of emails and research and phone calls yesterday trying to figure all this out. And by "kind of" I mean "total".
My strongest desire right now is to just GET THERE. I just want to see him. I want to see where he is living. I want to talk with his foster mom. I just can't wrap my head around the thought of having to wait for 6 more months or longer. It is "possible" for Mitch and I to make a visit trip, which we are praying about. But the likelihood of DRC giving us travel visas for "adoption purposes" is also very slim because of the issues the DGM is having. I would get on a plane tomorrow if I could.
Just to be clear, he is OURS. If we moved to DRC, we would be his legal guardians forever. He just wouldn't be a US citizen and couldn't enter our country. The typical response for people when they hear how long of a process this has been for us is to blame DRC...."why do they make it so HARD? When they can't take care of their 'own' kids they should make it easier for YOU to take care of them!!". There are so many issues with that last sentence, but the biggest is that OUR government has made this MUCH more complicated that the DRC. And they are who we are waiting on now.
No sweet bow to wrap this up in today. I am still frustrated and weepy. God has definitely reminded us that He is still in this...through scripture, friends, and random emails from people who were awakened by God in the middle of the night to pray for Josiah and us the night before we got this email. I love that He reminds us that He has not forgotten us through the affirmation of others. We are grateful.
My devotional this morning couldn't have been better timed (King James speech brought to you by Charles Spurgeon)
"Believer, look back through all thine experience, and think of the way whereby the Lord thy God has led thee in the wilderness, and how he hath fed and clothed thee every day-how he hath borne with thine ill manners-how he hath put up with all thy murmurings.....Think of how his grace has been sufficient for thee in all thy troubles.... When thou hast thus looked back upon the love of the Lord, then let faith survey his love in the future, for remember that Christ's covenant and blood have something more in them than the past. He who has loved thee and pardoned thee, shall never cease to love and pardon."
I mentioned this on facebook about a month ago. But, for those that don't know...we started this application process immediately after we got Josiah's court approval in October. They have sent it back three different times requesting more information on his case and threatening denial. This last time was the beginning of January and our attorney in the DRC had to hunt down documents that just didn't exist. He did what he could, but I had this sinking feeling when I sent off this last bunch of paperwork, that this was not going to satisfy USCIS.
Yesterday morning I got an email from our USCIS officer stating that they had forwarded our case on to the US Embassy in Kinshasa for investigation (there is SO MUCH MORE to this story so if you really want to know all of that, feel free to ask but it's just too much and too complicated to try and explain on here). This was not good news. This means there is something in our case and in Josiah's court documents that they want investigated. We have a strong feeling it is the abandonment stuff that is the issue. The US wants to make sure that no human trafficking is happening, which of course we totally AGREE. But, I can't even tell you how many documents (in BOTH English AND French) we have stating that he was abandoned. There is not much else we can. So the Embassy will now launch their own investigation. Track down the people that found him, where he was taken, etc.
So what does this mean? It means that his case is now sitting on the desk of a US Embassy employee in Kinshasa and will be investigated when they have the manpower to do it. We have no timeframe. They made SURE to make that clear to us. Our best bet is to call the US Embassy later this week and make sure they received our case. Put a voice and "face" to our file. Make sure they know we are real people, with a real waiting child. And then we wait.
I kind of had a break down in the midst of emails and research and phone calls yesterday trying to figure all this out. And by "kind of" I mean "total".
My strongest desire right now is to just GET THERE. I just want to see him. I want to see where he is living. I want to talk with his foster mom. I just can't wrap my head around the thought of having to wait for 6 more months or longer. It is "possible" for Mitch and I to make a visit trip, which we are praying about. But the likelihood of DRC giving us travel visas for "adoption purposes" is also very slim because of the issues the DGM is having. I would get on a plane tomorrow if I could.
Just to be clear, he is OURS. If we moved to DRC, we would be his legal guardians forever. He just wouldn't be a US citizen and couldn't enter our country. The typical response for people when they hear how long of a process this has been for us is to blame DRC...."why do they make it so HARD? When they can't take care of their 'own' kids they should make it easier for YOU to take care of them!!". There are so many issues with that last sentence, but the biggest is that OUR government has made this MUCH more complicated that the DRC. And they are who we are waiting on now.
No sweet bow to wrap this up in today. I am still frustrated and weepy. God has definitely reminded us that He is still in this...through scripture, friends, and random emails from people who were awakened by God in the middle of the night to pray for Josiah and us the night before we got this email. I love that He reminds us that He has not forgotten us through the affirmation of others. We are grateful.
My devotional this morning couldn't have been better timed (King James speech brought to you by Charles Spurgeon)
"Believer, look back through all thine experience, and think of the way whereby the Lord thy God has led thee in the wilderness, and how he hath fed and clothed thee every day-how he hath borne with thine ill manners-how he hath put up with all thy murmurings.....Think of how his grace has been sufficient for thee in all thy troubles.... When thou hast thus looked back upon the love of the Lord, then let faith survey his love in the future, for remember that Christ's covenant and blood have something more in them than the past. He who has loved thee and pardoned thee, shall never cease to love and pardon."
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Update
I have not posted anything in a while. Mostly, because I find it harder and harder to put into concise words what is always happening. The paperwork and governmental issues are confusing to say the least, but the emotions and the heart checks that come along with this journey aren't always so simple to explain either.
I was talking with a fellow international adoptive mom the other day (after they found out some fairly devastating news concerning their adoptive country) about how hard this is. And I don't say that to sound like a martyr or to be dramatic and invite sympathy. Yes, the paperwork and the cost and the waiting..and waiting...and waiting..they are difficult. But looking back over the last three years, I think the thing that has been the hardest is having the certainty that what God clearly called you to three years ago is still what He is calling you to today. Because the determination and boldness you felt at the beginning somehow gets chipped away little by little with every delay in paperwork, or governmental shutdown, or new invoice. You begin to think that maybe there was an easier way. A way less complicated. A way less expensive. Is this really what we are supposed to be doing? Did we hear right? Did we hear at all? Did we seek out international adoption for the right reasons or because it was more "exotic"? Did we stress ourselves financially because we shut the door on other ways too early? Should it be this hard and complicated if we are in God's will? I have actually heard people say that if you are obedient to God, then it will go "smoothly". So, for people like us (who have not used the word "smoothly" in..well...3 years), what does that mean? That we are not being obedient?
We have been able to be witness to a growing number of families in our community that have answered the call to foster/adopt from the foster care system. There is a HUGE need right here in our state and town that we love so much and these families are taking a big scary step in the uncertainty of fostering. And we LOVE this. We love these families and feel that someday we will be one of these families (don't call us crazy) who are choosing to love on the children in our area that desperately need a loving home. Because there are far too many who live without one.
So, why didn't God call us to this first? Why have we fundraised and fought for 3 years for this one child when there are so many here worth fighting for? (we actually have gotten asked this from lots of people, so it's natural that we would ask ourselves this and have often.)
But, time and time again, when I begin to wonder and doubt and let Satan make me question every single decision, or make me think I didn't hear right, or that we are in some way not being obedient, God shows me stories like this one and this one and many more. And he reminds me that these are not just stories, they are real children. They are children who yes, are far away. And yes, it is costly to bring them home. And yes, the governments of both our country and theirs makes it nearly IMPOSSIBLE at times for it to happen. But these are children without a home too. And while, in a perfect world there would be the ability for them to be adopted in their own countries by local families, or better than that, there would be the assistance lined up for mothers and fathers to not have to make choices like relinquishing their children or abandoning them. {And just a side note here, I think that needs to be a bigger goal of the church. Not building more orphanages, but long-term solutions that can be sustained in country (foster families, adoptive families, assistance programs for impoverished mothers, job training, etc).} But, in the mean time...there are children waiting. Josiah is waiting.
So, yes, my heart breaks for the children in foster care and for the young moms who are choosing to give their babies up and I want YOUR heart to break for them too, and be moved to action.
But, I don't want us to forget about the children in the world with no voice. No advocates. No government program to help them find families. Governments, who often times, specifically make it difficult, or impossible, for them to be adopted.
Because the fact is, they are all children. And they can't fight for themselves. I would encourage each of you to watch THIS FILM so that you can learn more about what is really happening in our world and with our government (they don't make this easy y'all). And to fight for ALL children to have the right to a family. Because they ALL matter. The ones here and the ones waaaayyy over there. Fight for them both.
That is what we are trying to do. While God has already started working on our hearts about the idea of someday fostering, we are still trying to get our Josiah home.
Quick update:
We are still waiting on his immigration approval (from our own government). Once we receive that, we will wait for the US embassy in Kinshasa to issue him a visa, then we wait for the government in the DRC to give him an exit letter for us to be able to travel and bring him home. Our best guess on timeline is March/April. A good year later than we thought when we received his referral on January 7, 2013.
But, even through the doubting and frustration and watching others bring their children home while our chair remains empty, we have confidence in Christ and in His authority over this situation. We have confidence that God called us to our agency and his birth country to find HIM and so we press on and wait.
I was talking with a fellow international adoptive mom the other day (after they found out some fairly devastating news concerning their adoptive country) about how hard this is. And I don't say that to sound like a martyr or to be dramatic and invite sympathy. Yes, the paperwork and the cost and the waiting..and waiting...and waiting..they are difficult. But looking back over the last three years, I think the thing that has been the hardest is having the certainty that what God clearly called you to three years ago is still what He is calling you to today. Because the determination and boldness you felt at the beginning somehow gets chipped away little by little with every delay in paperwork, or governmental shutdown, or new invoice. You begin to think that maybe there was an easier way. A way less complicated. A way less expensive. Is this really what we are supposed to be doing? Did we hear right? Did we hear at all? Did we seek out international adoption for the right reasons or because it was more "exotic"? Did we stress ourselves financially because we shut the door on other ways too early? Should it be this hard and complicated if we are in God's will? I have actually heard people say that if you are obedient to God, then it will go "smoothly". So, for people like us (who have not used the word "smoothly" in..well...3 years), what does that mean? That we are not being obedient?
We have been able to be witness to a growing number of families in our community that have answered the call to foster/adopt from the foster care system. There is a HUGE need right here in our state and town that we love so much and these families are taking a big scary step in the uncertainty of fostering. And we LOVE this. We love these families and feel that someday we will be one of these families (don't call us crazy) who are choosing to love on the children in our area that desperately need a loving home. Because there are far too many who live without one.
So, why didn't God call us to this first? Why have we fundraised and fought for 3 years for this one child when there are so many here worth fighting for? (we actually have gotten asked this from lots of people, so it's natural that we would ask ourselves this and have often.)
But, time and time again, when I begin to wonder and doubt and let Satan make me question every single decision, or make me think I didn't hear right, or that we are in some way not being obedient, God shows me stories like this one and this one and many more. And he reminds me that these are not just stories, they are real children. They are children who yes, are far away. And yes, it is costly to bring them home. And yes, the governments of both our country and theirs makes it nearly IMPOSSIBLE at times for it to happen. But these are children without a home too. And while, in a perfect world there would be the ability for them to be adopted in their own countries by local families, or better than that, there would be the assistance lined up for mothers and fathers to not have to make choices like relinquishing their children or abandoning them. {And just a side note here, I think that needs to be a bigger goal of the church. Not building more orphanages, but long-term solutions that can be sustained in country (foster families, adoptive families, assistance programs for impoverished mothers, job training, etc).} But, in the mean time...there are children waiting. Josiah is waiting.
So, yes, my heart breaks for the children in foster care and for the young moms who are choosing to give their babies up and I want YOUR heart to break for them too, and be moved to action.
But, I don't want us to forget about the children in the world with no voice. No advocates. No government program to help them find families. Governments, who often times, specifically make it difficult, or impossible, for them to be adopted.
Because the fact is, they are all children. And they can't fight for themselves. I would encourage each of you to watch THIS FILM so that you can learn more about what is really happening in our world and with our government (they don't make this easy y'all). And to fight for ALL children to have the right to a family. Because they ALL matter. The ones here and the ones waaaayyy over there. Fight for them both.
That is what we are trying to do. While God has already started working on our hearts about the idea of someday fostering, we are still trying to get our Josiah home.
Quick update:
We are still waiting on his immigration approval (from our own government). Once we receive that, we will wait for the US embassy in Kinshasa to issue him a visa, then we wait for the government in the DRC to give him an exit letter for us to be able to travel and bring him home. Our best guess on timeline is March/April. A good year later than we thought when we received his referral on January 7, 2013.
But, even through the doubting and frustration and watching others bring their children home while our chair remains empty, we have confidence in Christ and in His authority over this situation. We have confidence that God called us to our agency and his birth country to find HIM and so we press on and wait.
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