The last few weeks have been hard. We have found some things out concerning our adoption of Josiah and it hasn't been good news. We have had to have hard talks and I have cried more than once. But God, in His wisdom, knew I would have time to stop and listen to Him while we have been in our favorite place and it has been encouraging for my heart.
The VERY basic gist is this:
The Congolese government allowed 27 adopted children to leave the DRC with their adoptive parents at the end of May. This was huge news. Some movement meant the ball was rolling and maybe we would be next. We were wrong.
They then told our State Department that the DRC government was going to write new laws concerning their adoption practices and would not even begin doing so until the fall when their parliament met again. Bad news #1.
Then they stated that some of the adoptions that had already been thoroughly investigated, processed, and given favorable judgements might be VOIDED and thrown out. Specifically ones with a single adoptive parent, or with more than two existing children in their home. And by my count, we have THREE rascals at home. Bad news #2.
More waiting and an even possible reversal of our own favorable judgement.
Meanwhile, our Jose is getting bigger. And we are paying what seems like an unreasonably large amount of foster fees each month.
For a while I just didn't talk about it. I didn't want to ask the dreaded question. Ignoring the problem is always the solution, no?
But finally I allowed myself to go there.
What if we never get to bring him home? What if we are never a family...TOGETHER?
Do we continue to pay foster fees (which have now totaled up to $5,000 on top of the $30,000 we have already paid in attorney, agency and country fees) FOREVER?
What happens to him if they throw our adoption judgement out? Where does he go? What does his life look like?
What does OUR life look like? How does this make sense? This 4 year journey that could end like this?
I have mourned the fact that school will start in less than two months and ALL my kids will be going. In any other world, this would make me jump for joy. But it wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to have this other babe sitting on my hip and destroying my house and singing from the car seat in the back and making soccer practices more difficult because of early bed times. So, September doesn't feel like freedom. I dread it.
Then I got here. To the mountains that I swear God made just for me. I stopped going between fretting and ignoring and started listening. And God told me this through the pretty rad book The Circle Maker:
Keep circling Jericho.
In the Spring of 2010 God specifically told me He was going to add to our family through adoption. I didn't know what that would look like and where it would take us when I first shared that with Mitch. (If I knew then what we would be in store for, I may have kept quiet a little longer.) But that promise from God was as clear as day to me.
And God's promise (and instructions) to Joshua were pretty clear too: March. And then march some more. And God would give them victory. What if they had stopped one circle too soon? They would have missed out.
So we know that we have to keep circling. Even though sometimes it feels crazy and hopeless and endless. I don't want to stop too soon. I don't want to mentally throw my hands up and give in to the State Department's notifications that DRC adoption is doomed.
We don't have answers to any of the questions I asked above. But I am happy to say that last week, the House of Representatives Foreign Affairs committee voted in favor of HR588, legislation urging the DRC to expedite exit letters and for them to uphold the previous judgements made on adoptions before the suspension. And YOU can help!! Call, write, or email your representative and show your support for HR588 which will be voted on in the House soon. The link below takes you to more info and links to send letters:
https://bothendsburning.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/DRC-Results-Press-Release.pdf
So, we will praise God for the promise and the victory and will keep circling. Even though it feels crazy and endless and sometimes hopeless. 
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