Our village

We have THE most amazing friends. If you don't know these people, you should. They give of themselves constantly on our behalf. Time, money, prayers, and their hearts.

I am always so grateful when I stop and consider how God positioned us in this town, at this time, with these people that we love and who love us back. Please hear me and BELIEVE me that not even a little of this adoption journey would have been possible without these people God placed in our lives.

Some recent financial needs arose when we got Josiah's judgement and, without hesitation, friends stepped up and offered us gifts with not strings attached. We were humbled.

I ran the Chosen Marathon for Adoption, which, side note is possibly the best race on the planet (besides One Less of course..)...people are so happy and encouraging and everyone is there to either bring children home or with their already adopted children.  Joyful families and friends running for one reason: the fatherless.
It was beautiful. And hard. But mostly beautiful.

I had some amazing friends that not only agreed to run this thing with me for Josiah (all registration money goes to the adoptive family), but they also secretly got together and designed a super fun shirt and sold it around town to help support us. And then surprised us at my door one night. Aren't they the cutest?

Then we went and got it all sweaty. Beautiful friendship 13 mile sweat.

 

We are so grateful for these precious friends who are willing to give and give and give some more. I can't wait for this sweet boy to come home and know what all has been given on his behalf. We are so blessed by this "village".

Quick update:

Once we got the judgement we quickly got busy on our end of the paperwork (I only thought that part of it was over). We submitted everything to our government here and at the US embassy in Kinshasa and now are just waiting on things to process through. We are hopeful that the DGM shutting down in DRC will not affect us (we have been told that by several people in the know that it won't). But, we are still looking at probably a 4-5 month wait for approval to travel. It could possibly go faster. Please join us in praying for the red tape to be minimal.  We obviously would love for him to be here now, but any time between now and 5 months would be great. 

**ALSO...this upcoming Sunday, Nineteen:ten Church's orphan care ministry "Reclaimed" will have an interest meeting for anyone that has felt God's call in their lives to care for the orphan. We know that this comes in many different forms and that God convicts our hearts all very differently. But, we also know that it is a biblical mandate that we take some sort of role in the care and prevention of orphans (James 1:27). So, if you are wondering what this might look like in your life and how it might fit into your family's story, please JOIN US!! No pressure, just some families that have walked through it and have a little wisdom to give. You won't regret it!

Nineteen:ten Church

Sunday, November 3

1pm-3pm

(message me for more info)

It's official...

We got a call tonight.

It is official. Josiah is OURS.

We passed court on August 26 and have also cleared the mandatory 30-day waiting period after judgement. (it's not unusual to find out your court decision AFTER the waiting period. Not really sure why, but it is what it is...).

SO....we are proud to officially present our beautiful son Josiah Michael 

(we can show you his FACE now!)

(this was the first picture we got in January)

 (and here is the other half of the picture I posted last week)

Many of you have already seen these pictures because whenever anyone asks I immediately whip my phone out and shove it in their face. I want people to know that this word,"orphan", has a face. He is real. And loved.

Please know that it is not lost on us that the timing here is sovereign. When we got the call tonight, I pointed over to the chair in our bedroom and said to Mitch, "remember how a week ago I was a total snotty wreck in that chair?"

Thank you God for your timing. It is perfect. And we are idiots most of the time for doubting you.

This doesn't change the exit letter issue. But, we are choosing to press forward with other immigration filings we have to do (stupid US government shut down better not get in our way..) and hope that when it comes time for Josiah's exit letter to be issued, the DGM will be up and running and this whole mess won't affect us at all. We are choosing to believe this and hope that maybe this time will be different. That this part will go fast.

But, if it doesn't...please remind me that in the waiting, God is there. And that when I cried "I'm done", He knew that IT was already done and Josiah was OURS.

No one can take him away from us at this point. Now we can focus on GETTING HIM HERE.

In the meantime, will you pray for him?  His transition from orphanage to foster home will be difficult for him over the next few weeks, but we will have better communication with him and control over his medical care when he gets there. We really need this next period to be quick. The longer he is there, the more chance he will become bonded to another care-giver making the transition here even harder. There are also the mounting foster care fees Mitch and I have to pay each month which will not be easy on our tight budget. Lots of reasons to pray him home, so help us!!

Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement and love through last week. We couldn't do this without you. Really. We couldn't.

(Oh, and the private blog thing is ridiculously painful. Still working on it. But, until then....soak up this beautiful face as much as you want.)

Update

First of all, if you are reading this now, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read it and to pray for us. Most of you have followed our journey from the beginning. And now that we have to go "private" you chose to keep following us. And we are grateful. As I entered each email address in our "approved list of readers" it brought me joy to know that we have this amazing group of people that care enough about this crazy road we have been on to keep up with us. It humbles me and reminds me that we are not alone.

So, speaking of crazy roads....


The last time I blogged was the beginning of July. We had still not heard about court approval at that point. But were hoping to have heard by mid August or so.

Friday morning I heard that there was still no new news on the court approval, but we did receive new pictures of Josiah. And measurements! (which were all in the metric system...so of course being a dumb American, I had to google how to convert these foreign numbers). He weighs 22 pounds and is 30 inches long. And he is adorable. They shaved his head, which makes me sad because those tight little curls are adorable, but I'm sure the less hair the better in an orphanage filled with lots of tight little curls.

He was dressed in girls clothes again. Shabby worn out ones. Which I'm sure he could care less about. But, how badly I want to put him in an Aggie t-shirt and vans, just like his brothers.

But here is the hardest part for me. The bittersweet part, I guess you could say. In every picture he was completely attached to his care-giver. I have never seen her face, but I can tell that it is the same woman that has had him since he was 7 months old. He held tight to her hand in one picture. Grabbed her leg in another. And she looked as equally as loving to him. Why is this hard for me, you ask? Aren't you happy he is being loved on, you say? Yes. I am so grateful that he has a hand to hold and a chest to snuggle up to. And yes, part of me is just jealous that it's not mine. It is a good sign that he can attach, because Reactive Attachment Disorder is a reality for a huge percentage of adopted kids. But, the reality is each day he spends there, the harder it will be on him to leave...even if the ultimate outcome is a family and a home.

And here's the worst part of all: his time there is now indefinite.

Friday morning we got pictures. And Friday night we got a different kind of email.

The Congo's DGM (which is the government agency that issues exit letters for the child to leave the country) has shut down.

There was some rumors of internationally (not specifically American) adopted children being abused once in their new country. And there were also rumors of disrupted adoptions once in country (which basically means a family got home with their newly adopted child and for one reason or another the family didn't feel like it was working out, and so offered that child up for adoption again.) Clearly, both of these things, if true, warrant some worries from the DRC. They are bothersome to say the least.

But, ugh, the reality of what this means for families like us,  children like Josiah (who are yes, being loved on to the best of their ability, but nothing can replace the love and nurture of a family setting), or children with disabilities or illness wasting away in an area that cannot give adequate medical care is just overwhelmingly heartbreaking.

We have been given very little additional information. Except that this could take up to 12 months. TWELVE MONTHS. {And we are not naive to the fact that this could mean the country closing down indefinitely. It's happened in other places, DRC is not immune to it.}

Mitch and I were not together when we got this news. You would have thought that by the time we met up later that night we would have processed it and could talk about it. But, we just couldn't. My brain just couldn't compute it all. I am, by nature, an introvert. But when it's just me and Mitch, I am definitely the talker. I like to work out every. single. detail. Out loud (poor Mitch). I work it over and then analyze it and then re-analyze it and then summarize it and draw conclusions. He sits and listens to it all. Bless him. But, this time, I didn't. I just sat there and cried.

The one thing I did say was "I'm done. I just don't think I can do it anymore."

Now, don't get me wrong, I already love Josiah. We pray for him daily. I'm saving hand-me-downs from his brothers for him. His picture hangs in our house. We talk about him all the time. But, at that moment, selfishly, I just couldn't think about having to endure this battle anymore.

We had two miscarriages before we had Sam. We weren't really trying to get pregnant, but weren't really being proactive to NOT be. The first one happened in May of 2007. The second in October of 2007. I was done. No more excitement and then loss. No more disappointment and sadness. We made the decision and went to the doctor to make that final. But, guess who came along less than a year (9 months to be exact) later? Samuel Joseph.

So, what do I know about being done? I know what sadness and grief feel like. And I definitely know that I do not like those feelings. But, my God, the God of second chances, the God who likes to take people who think they are "done" (Abraham and Sarah, Joseph, and Moses to name a few...) and create new beginnings with them, knows more than I do (I suppose).

I still don't think I have a grasp on what all this means. A clarification email came this morning that assures us that this is only the "exit letter department".  Court and Embassy visa appointments will still happen. So basically, he will be ours, but we will not be able to bring him home until the DGM opens back up.

I don't feel as hopeless as I did on Friday night and Saturday (I may have survived on candy corn alone for those 24 hours. hashtagemotionaleater). But, I will not lie and say that I have no worries or fears about what this means for us and Josiah. Plain and simple: it sucks. (sorry mom..she really hates that word).

But I have hope that God will take my "I'm done" and do something with it. We aren't sure what that will mean for us and for Josiah. We are obviously hoping it means he will come home to us sooner than all would guess. But, in the mean time, he will continue to be a part of our lives and his seat is still waiting for him.

The last 6 months...

It's been a long time since my last post. Almost 6 months. So much has happened between January 22 and today. And yet little has changed.

We spent the 6 weeks following our referral watching my precious dad slip away from us. He passed away on March 9 to forever be with his King. How sad I was to know that he would never get to hold or see or smell or kiss his 6th grandchild. The whole thing was so surreal that I still have moments I can't believe he is really gone forever. I do know that he understood Josiah was coming. He saw his picture and said "sweet baby boy", so we take comfort in that. He would have been an amazing Papa to him, I'm sure of it.

The last 6 months have been a bit of a wilderness for me. I'm pretty positive figuring out how to handle loss always is. Balancing being content to just be sad for a little while and wanting to be happy for those around you is hard. Not eating every emotion is hard. Being in the moment and enjoying them for what they are seems to always be tainted with the fact that someone is missing.

But we live through those wilderness times. Because the land may be barren, but it is never fruitless. God's goodness is always there even when it is sometimes clouded by our own grief or anger. And God gave many good things to us in the last few months that we are grateful for (a successful One Less race, an Ironman who is still alive and kicking, family vacations, and many other daily beautiful moments). But, I also think God knows when to wait to give us BIG things. I believe that Josiah is one of those.

We are still waiting on a court date. Many many complicated things have happened with the system there and with the US embassy issuing visas. This has held our case up again and again. We had been told and were hoping to travel in May or June. That obviously hasn't happened. Now don't get me wrong...we REALLY want him home with us. But, I have to believe that God's timing is perfect and that maybe He knew my heart needed some time to grieve and recover. Walking out on the other side of the last 6 months of our lives, I recognize that I was maybe a little too self-consumed to be able to have handled traveling and bringing home a new child well. And obviously God knew that.

But now, I spend most of my time trying to convince God that I am READY.  Our family is READY. We have an empty chair at our table every night and it needs to be filled.

We get updates on Josiah periodically. The logistics and details I cannot share online, but feel free to ask me anytime (and thank you to all of you who HAVE asked me. It means so much to know that he is on more people's mind besides just ours).

I got about 10 new pictures yesterday and he is growing so. much. 

He is walking and has teeth and lots of tiny tight little curls (and appears to have some pretty big feet). I'm so grateful that he looks healthy. But it also makes me sad. We missed celebrating his first birthday with him (although we don't even officially know the date that the courts chose for his birth certificate, we know it was in the end of June or beginning of July sometime). We didn't get to see him take his first steps or hear his first words. It feels like we are missing out on so much!

As of right now, we are still unsure of a timeline. More than likely it will be late fall- December before we get to travel. Almost a full year from time of referral. That wasn't the plan, but has any of this gone according to plan? Does it ever?

Thank you for continuing on this journey with us. Although we grow weary, we do not lose sight of the vision God spoke to us three years ago. We are grateful for those who walk beside us and help remind us of God's faithfulness.

**WE WILL HAVE TO MAKE THIS BLOG PRIVATE SOON BECAUSE OF PRIVACY ISSUES. IF YOU WANT TO STAY UPDATED, PLEASE COMMENT ON FB OR THIS POST WITH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS.**

Hoping to update soon with some PROGRESS,

Katie

And I will give you a new name...

I love the stories in the bible where God changes someone's name. Abram to Abraham. Jacob to Israel. Simon to Peter. Saul to Paul. All of these name changes were more than just something different to call them. It was life-changing, eternity-altering moments. It was new life for those men. A new purpose.

The bible also tells us when we believe in Christ, He gives us a new name too. We just don't know it yet. It is waiting for us in Heaven (Rev 2:17). But once again, it represents new life. New purpose. New identity for us as believers.

So what better way to symbolize this precious baby becoming a member of our family than by changing his name?

 When we first began the adoption process many people asked us what name we had chosen. But we just never felt right picking a name before we saw a face. We also wanted to be sensitive to the fact that our child might have a name that was chosen by his birth parents and we wanted to honor that. So we waited. And then came baby J. But here's the deal. The "J" name is just a name the orphanage has given him to identify him. It's actually a precious name (and a family name), but we assume that it probably wasn't chosen with much thought or love. He deserves more than that. He deserves the same laboring over names that we all give our biological kids. And we wanted to pray for him by name. We want you to pray for him by name.

So enough rambling....the newest Fickey will be named:

We love the name Josiah. It is a strong name. A manly name he can carry for the rest of his life. But don't you dare call him Jo. Or Josie. We will all ignore you if you do (I will teach him that). When he is ready for a nickname, we will call him Si.

We believe he will make much of the name Josiah!

Michael is my precious father's name. He is very ill right now and struggles to comprehend much of the world around him, but he does understand the plight of this sweet boy. He doesn't speak much anymore, but when shown the picture of Josiah he said "sweet baby boy".

So Michael is in honor of the sweetest man I know, my father. He will carry that name on well, I'm sure of it.


So there you have it!! If you hate it, don't tell us! We don't care!! :)

So pray for Josiah Michael by name now when you think about it. Pray for him to stay healthy. We have heard of many families losing their babies to malaria or other preventable diseases before they have a chance to get to them. I can't even imagine. Please join us in praying protection over his sweet little body until we get there!!

Kind of a big deal....

Guess what?

Something kind of BIG happened today.

At 8:15 am we had a conference call with our agency and a liaison in the Congo and we received our REFERRAL!! 

{In non-weirdo adoption terms-

this means that our paperwork in the Congo was reviewed and we were matched with a child! }

Annndddd....

A baby boy to be exact.

7 months old and precious. 

Meet baby J....the 6th Fickey!

{Excuse the dumb heart. For privacy reasons, until we pass court and he is "officially" ours we can't show his face. 

But trust me. He is adorable. }

Aacck!! Let the rejoicing commence!!!

We don't know much about his story, but what we do know is heartbreaking. He was abandoned and found by some street kids. The social worker in the Congo searched for a family with no success. I can't even imagine how that must have felt for that mama or daddy. To leave behind this precious baby.  I will never judge that decision and would ask you not to either. We live in a different world and we can in no way think we would think or do differently when faced by terrible circumstances. 

We know that God intended for that sweet baby to be with his birth parents. But the path he is on is different now, and Mitch and I are overjoyed {overwhelmed} and eager to love this boy like he has never been loved before.

We can't wait to squeeze his belly and kiss his toes. 

The timeline from here is not totally clear.

His paperwork and our paperwork will be filed and a court date will be scheduled. If the judge approves, we will then have a 30 day mandatory waiting period to see if any family members come forward to claim him. Then we will apply for his visa, do some other immigration paperwork and then we can schedule our travel. So, our best guess is June (??). However,  we are going to pray it goes crazy, light-speed quick, and is the fastest adoption in DRC history.

 But, we will have to be content to wait a little if that doesn't happen. But it should. But it probably won't.  Erg. 

We have been waiting for this day for a long time. And God exceeded our expectations. 

He is good. Like real good. 

Thank you for those of you that have held on the last two (almost three) years, asked us questions, cried with us, prayed for us. We love that you now get to celebrate with us and someday soon kiss some toes too. (or is that just a mama thing?)