Remember this post? Almost exactly a year ago this Saturday, we had our home study. I was panicked. Convinced this social worker would find me lacking in all sorts of areas of my life. I just knew she was going to get down on her hands and knees and run her white-gloved finger across my baseboards, that Sam was going to straight up say to her "my mama and daddy spank me all the time.", and that someone was going to get a bloody nose while she was there.
Well, I guess I was being just a little dramatic (except the bloody nose part...that did happen). We passed our home study no problem. Sam kept all our family's inner most secrets and apparently my house was plenty clean. I thought that was going to be the hardest part. The rest would just be paper chasing and shuffling and then...viola! Our child would be here within the year. I even wrote on our Christmas card that we would be "bringing our child home in 2012".
How presumptuous of me. And how arrogant! Yes, the way most of the world works is that you follow steps A, B, and C and you get result D. But adoption doesn't seem to work that way. As much as many of us would like to believe it. And as much as I believed it for the last two years. It's just not that easy. And it's not ever what you expect or plan.
God has turned this little town upside down for adoption. I've had the chance to meet lots of new friends with adopted children and I've had the blessing of getting to see dear friends make the decision themselves to adopt. What once seemed like a lone journey for Mitch and I has now become a little more normal. And we rejoice in that! We are excited about it! But, lately we have heard some rumblings in our community that adoption is becoming a "fad" or "the new cool thing" or even "an accessory". People questioning other's motives and desires. And while my first reaction to that is anger and frustration, God then gives me the grace to see adoption from an outsider's perspective. The way I, myself, looked at it not that long ago....
{You decide you want a cute baby that looks different from your family because that possibly might bring you attention and praise. You then do a little bit of paperwork, raise some money (which consequently will also bring you attention), travel to an exotic and far away land and bring home a child that subsequently fits in perfectly with your family, bonds with you immediately and has no medical issues or developmental issues at all. Life will go on as usual, just with one more adorable kid to add to your clan. And people will praise you forever for this noble and righteous deed. The end.}
I can see how to an outsider, having that perspective, this whole thing looks like a sham. Or how you could even question someone's motives, insisting that you know their hearts to be influenced by the world's adoration for this "noble deed". Because, if you think it's just that easy to make the decision and bring home a new child, then yes, the whole thing shouts "fraud".
But, that's the thing. It's nothing like that. In reality, it's this long journey with bouts of spiritual warfare going on above you constantly. Satan convincing you that you are not good enough to do it. Or that you are so amazing to be doing it and you are bringing salvation to a child...they should probably make you a Saint. Or, even worse, that everyone is talking about you behind your back whispering "who does she think she is? She's such a wannabe....or a hypocrite!" Ouch.
Meanwhile, as you are getting your 48th thing notarized, sealed, and delivered, you are begging God to explain to you why it is so hard and complicated. And then sometimes, there is hope! There is a child! Hallelujah!!! And then.......that child is gone just as fast as it came and you are back to square 1. You argue with your husband, you wait in long lines, you lose friendships, you wake up early every morning to check your email in hopes that there is some news from your agent, you think you are all paid up and then suddenly have to come up with more because there is a new fee, you have to explain to your three children once again why their new brother/sister didn't get to be with us for Christmas, and you ache late at night with the unknowns of where they are, who they are, and when you will get to hold them.
And that? That is only the part BEFORE you travel. So, obviously the rest of it...the meat of it...couldn't possibly be a walk in the park either.
So to all the naysayers, the doubters, the skeptics....I strongly believe that God doesn't allow adoption under the pretense of coolness and attention. If you go into it with those reasons, I assure you that God's process will be painful and will completely change your heart. And only for the better. As I watch myself, my husband, and my precious old friends go through this, and watch my amazing new friends who have already gone through it, I know that there is not one easy thing about it.
What I do know is that adoption is biblical and we are attempting to be obedient, but we are not even in the same realm as a "saint". I know attention and praise can be attractive, but is fleeting and empty. I know that God's provision is never ending and his fire is always refining. I know that adoption is becoming common in Boerne and I love that. Our story is not anything particularly special, but it is ours and we will always tell it because we believe that God is in the middle of it and has done great things through it. And we rejoice every single time we find out about someone else making the decision to adopt. Because there are a LOT of orphans out there. A lot. So adoption becoming old hat in Boerne means that more of those children are getting homes and families. And that is a good thing.
So, for those that have been asking...here are our updates:
We have our one year Home study update TOMORROW. This is just to keep our Texas standards up to date. I have not re-organized one area of my house yet. I will clean tomorrow and we will be ourselves, knowing that it's in God's hands anyway.
We are still waiting for a referral. We had been told it could possibly come before Christmas, but that being only a few days away, I think we will have to choose to be content knowing that we will have to wait a little longer.
Thank you to all the people that ask me how it's going all the time. I love that we have not left your hearts and minds. I know this has been a long road to travel with us and we are grateful that most of you are still on it with us!! I can't wait for the day I have some really BIG news! Until then, keep praying!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
hello. my name is debbie downer.
My heart is so heavy tonight.
I took my almost 10 year old and 5 of his friends out for his birthday tonight. They laughed and hollered and wrestled in my back seat and bowled and played video games and ate pizza and blew out candles and ate cake.
There is a football game going on less than a mile from my house. A homecoming game with dates and mums and dances and music (music I can hear from my bed... might I add). There was cheering and touchdowns and homecoming court and many a proud parent.
Joyful moments. Memory making moments for parents and children both.
But some events of today have led me to end this night with a heavy heart for the orphan and some people I dearly love who got some sad news.
As I sit here looking at waiting children lists (these are children that have been waiting for a long time for a family or have special needs or multiple siblings) and advocate group pages (like Reece's Rainbow which advocate for orphans with Down's syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or HIV), and other adoptive family's blogs.....I have never felt more torn.
While I lay in my bed listening to the music from a 1/2 mile away and think about all the fun those sweet high schoolers are having right now and how much fun my Brody and all his friends had tonight, I can't help but feel the injustice of it all.
Why can't EVERY child feel joy and love and a parent's pride? Why does ANY child need to stay in a crib 24 hours a day at the age of 6? Or live his teenage and adult years out in a mental institution? Or die because of lack of proper medical care? Or get ordered around by scary adults with not even a hint of love in their voices?
I mean, I think it's easy for us (me included) to forget that these are real live children. Sitting in an orphanage somewhere. They are not a number. Not a statistic. Not just a page in a notebook. They have hearts. And smiles. And personalities. And a God who loves them. Just like the kids in my car tonight. Just like the kids dancing with their dates up the street.
What they do not have is a family.
And tonight....well, God, it just seems unfair.
Sometimes this thing, this "crisis" as we so easily call it....it just seems impossible to fix. The problems. The ridiculous red tape, the unethical attitude, the lack of empathy, the giant giant flaws in it all....which ultimately lead to heart break again and again. For child. For parent. For Jesus.
Sometimes, it's just too much. And it seems impossible and unfixable. And it makes me want to scream because I feel helpless and moved to action all at the same time. I feel disappointed in myself that I don't fight harder or that I didn't start earlier and yet sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and cry uncle. I feel frustrated at the world that we just let this go on as if we are okay with it and yet I have played a role in that as well. And today, I feel sad that well-meaning people can cause heartbreak too.
Problems and feelings that won't be solved tonight.
Hard as I'm trying, this post can't be wrapped up and concluded with a neat little bow. It's not that easy or tidy. This is messy heart wrenching stuff. And I will go to bed tonight knowing that my dreams will be haunted by the faces of the babes I stared at all night. God, don't let me forget them. Ever. And help me remember that they are worth fighting for. Every single one of them. Please don't let Satan convince me and the rest of the world to give up and that it is hopeless and impossible....even on nights like tonight when it feels like it just might be.
I took my almost 10 year old and 5 of his friends out for his birthday tonight. They laughed and hollered and wrestled in my back seat and bowled and played video games and ate pizza and blew out candles and ate cake.
There is a football game going on less than a mile from my house. A homecoming game with dates and mums and dances and music (music I can hear from my bed... might I add). There was cheering and touchdowns and homecoming court and many a proud parent.
Joyful moments. Memory making moments for parents and children both.
But some events of today have led me to end this night with a heavy heart for the orphan and some people I dearly love who got some sad news.
As I sit here looking at waiting children lists (these are children that have been waiting for a long time for a family or have special needs or multiple siblings) and advocate group pages (like Reece's Rainbow which advocate for orphans with Down's syndrome or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or HIV), and other adoptive family's blogs.....I have never felt more torn.
While I lay in my bed listening to the music from a 1/2 mile away and think about all the fun those sweet high schoolers are having right now and how much fun my Brody and all his friends had tonight, I can't help but feel the injustice of it all.
Why can't EVERY child feel joy and love and a parent's pride? Why does ANY child need to stay in a crib 24 hours a day at the age of 6? Or live his teenage and adult years out in a mental institution? Or die because of lack of proper medical care? Or get ordered around by scary adults with not even a hint of love in their voices?
I mean, I think it's easy for us (me included) to forget that these are real live children. Sitting in an orphanage somewhere. They are not a number. Not a statistic. Not just a page in a notebook. They have hearts. And smiles. And personalities. And a God who loves them. Just like the kids in my car tonight. Just like the kids dancing with their dates up the street.
What they do not have is a family.
And tonight....well, God, it just seems unfair.
Sometimes this thing, this "crisis" as we so easily call it....it just seems impossible to fix. The problems. The ridiculous red tape, the unethical attitude, the lack of empathy, the giant giant flaws in it all....which ultimately lead to heart break again and again. For child. For parent. For Jesus.
Sometimes, it's just too much. And it seems impossible and unfixable. And it makes me want to scream because I feel helpless and moved to action all at the same time. I feel disappointed in myself that I don't fight harder or that I didn't start earlier and yet sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and cry uncle. I feel frustrated at the world that we just let this go on as if we are okay with it and yet I have played a role in that as well. And today, I feel sad that well-meaning people can cause heartbreak too.
Problems and feelings that won't be solved tonight.
Hard as I'm trying, this post can't be wrapped up and concluded with a neat little bow. It's not that easy or tidy. This is messy heart wrenching stuff. And I will go to bed tonight knowing that my dreams will be haunted by the faces of the babes I stared at all night. God, don't let me forget them. Ever. And help me remember that they are worth fighting for. Every single one of them. Please don't let Satan convince me and the rest of the world to give up and that it is hopeless and impossible....even on nights like tonight when it feels like it just might be.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Gnu Creation
Many of you have asked (and thank you for doing so) about our status. What is happening? So much hullabaloo and then....nothing. Yep. That is how we feel too.
It's a hurry up and wait kind of thing. It is maddening and painful and gut-wrenching. It is two steps forward and three steps back all the time. I can't lie to you and tell you I am being patient and understanding, ever allowing God to do His thing while I sit and pray fervently the whole day through knowing that His timing is best.
Nope. That is just not the reality.
To be honest, I mostly lie awake at night and in that moment in between awake and sleep, when my heart almost physically hurts, I strongly consider buying a plane ticket and just going to the Congo myself (because when you're brain is half asleep this seems like a reasonable idea). Or I want to email our agent every single day asking her what the flippin hold up is and what I can do to speed things along. Or I may or may not want to throw something very heavy at my dear sweet husband if he says "just be patient" one more time.
Honestly? I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being patient. Yes, I KNOW in my head AND my heart that God is working. He is working in me and Mitch and in our child. I know that His timing is perfect. I don't doubt His sovereignty in this situation one tiny bit.
But, sometimes (as in this morning, in my living room) I scream "I AM TIRED OF WAITING!!!" (and then perhaps start to slam things around and act unkind to the people closest to me). Because well, I'm human. I want that child in our family so badly. I want him/her here making messes and getting boo boos and waking me up at night. I want to look in my rearview mirror and see four little faces. I want my dad to get to be a part of this child's life. I want the waiting and the paperwork and the emailing and the forms and the blah blah blah to END. Is that really SOOO much to ask?! Ugh.
Anyway, just one of those days. (bear with me...I'm sure I will have many more)
Basic update: we are waiting (or did you get that part already?) for a referral. waiting. waiting.
BUT.....I have some other REALLY great news. I mean REALLY great.
My precious longtime forever friend Kyle has made the big decision to adopt!! Yippee!!
Kyle and her husband Todd have had adoption and foster care on their hearts for a very long time, long before me. They have been foster parents for several different kids and were just beginning to take some steps towards adopting domestically. Just recently though, God spoke to them about one specific precious girl from the Ukraine that they saw and they have been obedient and are seeking her out and working on the paperwork to adopt her!!
I wish so much I could tell this whole story to you, but alas...it is not my story to tell. But I can say that I am overjoyed that in some little way, our stories intertwine. Even though losing our first referral was so sad for us, God used that and turned it into something beautiful for them (long story...). I love that God does that. He turns our sorrow into joy (Psalm 30:11) and reminds us that He is FOR adoption.
Maybe at some point my super private (annoyingly so) friend Kyle will tell the whole story...but until then, this is the deal:
The proces will move quickly for them and they still need quite a bit of money. The child they are adopting is older and is in limbo between an orphanage (yuck) and an institution (even worse). Time is of the essence. They are hoping to travel by the first of the year. Travel is expensive.
It's a hurry up and wait kind of thing. It is maddening and painful and gut-wrenching. It is two steps forward and three steps back all the time. I can't lie to you and tell you I am being patient and understanding, ever allowing God to do His thing while I sit and pray fervently the whole day through knowing that His timing is best.
Nope. That is just not the reality.
To be honest, I mostly lie awake at night and in that moment in between awake and sleep, when my heart almost physically hurts, I strongly consider buying a plane ticket and just going to the Congo myself (because when you're brain is half asleep this seems like a reasonable idea). Or I want to email our agent every single day asking her what the flippin hold up is and what I can do to speed things along. Or I may or may not want to throw something very heavy at my dear sweet husband if he says "just be patient" one more time.
Honestly? I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being patient. Yes, I KNOW in my head AND my heart that God is working. He is working in me and Mitch and in our child. I know that His timing is perfect. I don't doubt His sovereignty in this situation one tiny bit.
But, sometimes (as in this morning, in my living room) I scream "I AM TIRED OF WAITING!!!" (and then perhaps start to slam things around and act unkind to the people closest to me). Because well, I'm human. I want that child in our family so badly. I want him/her here making messes and getting boo boos and waking me up at night. I want to look in my rearview mirror and see four little faces. I want my dad to get to be a part of this child's life. I want the waiting and the paperwork and the emailing and the forms and the blah blah blah to END. Is that really SOOO much to ask?! Ugh.
Anyway, just one of those days. (bear with me...I'm sure I will have many more)
Basic update: we are waiting (or did you get that part already?) for a referral. waiting. waiting.
BUT.....I have some other REALLY great news. I mean REALLY great.
My precious longtime forever friend Kyle has made the big decision to adopt!! Yippee!!
Kyle and her husband Todd have had adoption and foster care on their hearts for a very long time, long before me. They have been foster parents for several different kids and were just beginning to take some steps towards adopting domestically. Just recently though, God spoke to them about one specific precious girl from the Ukraine that they saw and they have been obedient and are seeking her out and working on the paperwork to adopt her!!
I wish so much I could tell this whole story to you, but alas...it is not my story to tell. But I can say that I am overjoyed that in some little way, our stories intertwine. Even though losing our first referral was so sad for us, God used that and turned it into something beautiful for them (long story...). I love that God does that. He turns our sorrow into joy (Psalm 30:11) and reminds us that He is FOR adoption.
Maybe at some point my super private (annoyingly so) friend Kyle will tell the whole story...but until then, this is the deal:
The proces will move quickly for them and they still need quite a bit of money. The child they are adopting is older and is in limbo between an orphanage (yuck) and an institution (even worse). Time is of the essence. They are hoping to travel by the first of the year. Travel is expensive.
So....they need your help and this is how you can do it.....
Kyle is an uber-talented seamstress who makes deliciously cute upcycled dresses.
Like THESE!!!!
{WHOOP!! ADORABLE!!!}
{Less adorable}
{I mean really??? Party Animal? Yes please.}
Aren't they great? Doesn't your daughter need one? Or niece? Or granddaughter? Or co-worker's neighbor's cousin need one? Yes. I do believe they do.
Kyle is selling these one of a kind handmade dresses to help raise money, so BUY ONE!! Or TEN!!
Her prices are crazy reasonable, so add a little (or ALOT) to the total! Help bring that precious girl HOME! She needs a family, and the Montalbos want to be that family. Your little girl will look precious in her new dress AND you will help the Montalbos bring their daughter home!
Click the link (Gnu Creation...how cute is that?) to get the goods and help them fund their adoption!
God is on the move for adoption people! Be a part of it!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
One week later
Last Friday, after some amazing friends called everyone they knew, or baked a million things, or sat out in the sun selling lemonade, we suddenly had a combined amount of money that we were NOT expecting. We were feeling so amazingly blessed that day. We kept looking at each other just speechless at how God had provided above and beyond what we could have ever expected. For us, this was the ultimate confirmation....we were in God's will. We were doing what he wanted us to do. This child was ours.
We rode this high all week.
Then yesterday came. One week later. A call from our agent (as we were walking out of the Passport office, by the way..). And these words...
"we have given your {un-official} referral to another family. They had their paperwork already in country. They were waiting for a healthy child. But for whatever reason, changed their minds and decided they would accept a child with special medical needs. So, they are first in line. And they will get the baby."
Sigh.
I held in my tears until I got off the phone with her. I saved them for Mitch. Lucky him.
I don't know how to explain how that felt. I knew that this was a possibility. The fact that this was an "un-official" referral meant that until our paperwork was in the Congo, we would have no real "claim" on him. We were hurrying. I was emailing people and annoying people to death trying to get things done. But, in all reality, I honestly did not think there would be people lining up to take on this special needs child. And besides the logistics of it all....he felt like he was ours. I felt like God said so.
So, when those words came out of her mouth, well....I felt like I had lost a child. My heart was broken and I was confused.
Why did God take us down this path? Why would He bring us to this place if this child wasn't really ours? Yes, I was very grateful that this baby would be getting a family soon, and medicine even sooner. But, he was supposed to be OUR baby. Not theirs. What is God trying to do here? Haven't we grown enough? Why does God have to keep teaching us things? What are we doing wrong? I mean, we felt very strongly we were in God's will, and still do actually, so where does this leave us? What are we supposed to do now? What is the deal? (and lots more angry, spoiled brat kind of things like that)
A day later, I can't tell you I understand any more. I spent a lot of time yesterday feeling sad and crying. Today, I feel more hopeful. Still confused, but hopeful.
We know that there is a reason for this. We know that God has something else planned. Maybe he brought us to this place because the next referral we get will be the exact same scenario. Maybe he wanted us to pray for that baby in a dark and dangerous time in his little life. Maybe we were just there to stand in the gap between loneliness and a family for him. Maybe God used it to grow our hearts for orphans with special needs. Maybe our next referral will be soon and we will be able to do things quickly since we have all our funding ready.
Whatever the reason, we know that God will reveal it to us someday. As a friend reminded me, the day we bring our new child home, we will all be able to look around at each other, and say "ooohhh, this is why God did that. THIS is what He had planned for them all along."
Man, I am ready for that day.
So, to answer some questions that are probably in most of your minds:
- Yes, the attorney fees for the Congo will still be the same. So, the amazing amount of money all our friends poured their hearts and souls into is still much needed and necessary. (so thank you again sweet friends. my heart is overwhelmed with love from each of you)
- The wait time for another referral will not be long. A matter of a few months to maybe just weeks. Which will mean that travel will not be too far off after that. So, we are hopeful that we will be able to travel and bring our child home within 6 months.
- We are leaving our home study open to a medically special needs child. We can't ignore the fact that God opened our eyes to the giant need out there and asked our obedience. We will remain faithful to that and see what God has in store.
Please pray for our hearts. Mitch has a good head and broad shoulders and is handling this much better than me. He can see God's sovereignty more clearly than me at times and I am grateful for it. I am still confused and a little frustrated, but am resting in God's faithfulness and what He has already done.
Thank you to our friends and family who rejoiced with us last week, and who grieved with us this week. There will be more rejoicing ahead I know it. Don't give up on us yet.
Friday, August 17, 2012
48 hours
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.
(Matt Redman)
48 hours y'all. That's all it takes sometimes. 48 hours for God's people to come together and show unconditional love and support. To be obedient and generous beyond measure. 48 hours for God to not only provide all we needed, but exceed it.
As of tonight, friends and strangers have given us over $16,000.
Can you even flipping believe that?!!!
Our mouths are wide open in awe and our hearts are ridiculously full.
Thank you to our friends that didn't let us feel defeated. For those special people that made calls and shared our story, planned extravagant lemonade stands, baked yummy things, sat in the heat with smiles on their faces, and then rejoiced with us at the end.
Thank you to our friends that didn't let us feel defeated. For those special people that made calls and shared our story, planned extravagant lemonade stands, baked yummy things, sat in the heat with smiles on their faces, and then rejoiced with us at the end.
Thank you especially to each of you that gave. Every single penny mattered to us. We saw the body come alive and active all around us. And tonight, we are feeling loved by Jesus and loved by you all. What more could we ask for?
It has been a good 48 hours.
Now on to the business of bringing that baby home.....
It has been a good 48 hours.
Now on to the business of bringing that baby home.....
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Everything you Got
I'm not even sure where to begin (which is probably why I chose to totally remodel the blog at 11pm instead of starting this post.) So much has happened over the last few months....and trying to squeeze all of that into a trim, short-and-to-the-point blog post is just not working in my brain. So, bear with me...this may be a long and messy one. (I'm apologizing ahead of time for any ramblings and unnecessary information.) But stick with it....there's a good ending :)
So, I guess I should back up to my last post in April. I talked about how God had brought us to a place of surrendering our "idea" of how our adoption was going to play out. When we began this adoption, we (more specifically I) wanted an "as healthy as possible" baby girl. Which is what the majority of people in the adoption world seem to want. Because they are adorable for sure, but results in "supply/demand" type adoptions, which we wanted to avoid. And as we got deeper and deeper into God's word and heart for the orphan, we realized that God wanted something different for our family anyway. So, we decided we would be open to a boy. Then we felt like God said to be open to sibling groups (it seems so 'no big deal' to just type out those decisions, but I have to tell you that they were gut wrenching on our knees kind of decisions). But, all that brings us up to my last post in April
So since April....
We begin hearing some more disappointing things about Uganda. Like wait times were longer because there were more unethical things happening and government was trying to safe guard against that (which we have come to realize is just kind of the nature of the beast as far as international adoptions go). But after some advice from our agency, we began considering changing countries (another gut-wrenching decision). There is way more to this story, which I may share some day....but the basics are this: after praying and praying and researching and talking we made the choice to officially change programs to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC...formerly Zaire). DRC neighbors Uganda to the West and is just as war torn now as Uganda and Rwanda were 15 years ago. You know that jerk Kony? Yeah, he lives in the Congo now and is still wreaking havoc. The Congo is a beautiful country with LOTS of natural resources, but unfortunately they have never been able to use them for the benefit of their own people because of the greed and power of a few. The poverty and civil strife there has resulted in years of extreme and unthinkable violence and murder, sexual abuse, HIV/AIDS, and lots and lots of orphans. The need is great, and while the ideal situation for an orphan is really for them to be able to stay in their own country and be adopted by a local family, the need in the Congo is just too gigantic. There are too many children and no resources for their own people to care for them. It is so unbelievably sad. So our hearts were hooked and we made the decision to pursue adoption through the DRC.
Two days after our official "switch" we got an email from our agent. It was pretty simple, maybe just three or four sentences. She wrote to us telling us that there was a baby boy in the Congo ready for adoption if we were interested.
WHAT??? two days?? and we get an unofficial referral?? That just doesn't happen in the world of adoption. It takes months for a "referral"......but then I read the next sentence and it explained why there was such an urgency. This sweet baby boy has some pretty serious medical needs. Ones that may last a life time or perhaps God will choose to heal him of them....we are unsure. (btw we are not at liberty to disclose his specific needs, so please don't be offended if we don't give you the whole scoop).
But despite that last sentence in her email, and the unknown of it all and the cost that it might incur, we just knew that this was our child. I don't know how to explain it. We didn't have his whole file. We didn't get a picture. There was no name. There was nothing to invoke an emotional connection with him. But we both knew it. At different times that day, God said to both of us "you want the 'unadoptable' the 'hard to place'?...well, here he is. And he is yours. "
Although we both felt pretty strongly that we had heard from God, we knew that the responsible thing to do was to continue to pray, research, talk to some doctors, etc. We spent some pretty serious moments seeking God's heart in this and there wasn't a moment it wasn't on our minds.
There was a Sunday that fell in the middle of the days we were praying over this decision. And this was the first thing that popped up on our sermon notes that day...
So, I guess I should back up to my last post in April. I talked about how God had brought us to a place of surrendering our "idea" of how our adoption was going to play out. When we began this adoption, we (more specifically I) wanted an "as healthy as possible" baby girl. Which is what the majority of people in the adoption world seem to want. Because they are adorable for sure, but results in "supply/demand" type adoptions, which we wanted to avoid. And as we got deeper and deeper into God's word and heart for the orphan, we realized that God wanted something different for our family anyway. So, we decided we would be open to a boy. Then we felt like God said to be open to sibling groups (it seems so 'no big deal' to just type out those decisions, but I have to tell you that they were gut wrenching on our knees kind of decisions). But, all that brings us up to my last post in April
So since April....
We begin hearing some more disappointing things about Uganda. Like wait times were longer because there were more unethical things happening and government was trying to safe guard against that (which we have come to realize is just kind of the nature of the beast as far as international adoptions go). But after some advice from our agency, we began considering changing countries (another gut-wrenching decision). There is way more to this story, which I may share some day....but the basics are this: after praying and praying and researching and talking we made the choice to officially change programs to the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC...formerly Zaire). DRC neighbors Uganda to the West and is just as war torn now as Uganda and Rwanda were 15 years ago. You know that jerk Kony? Yeah, he lives in the Congo now and is still wreaking havoc. The Congo is a beautiful country with LOTS of natural resources, but unfortunately they have never been able to use them for the benefit of their own people because of the greed and power of a few. The poverty and civil strife there has resulted in years of extreme and unthinkable violence and murder, sexual abuse, HIV/AIDS, and lots and lots of orphans. The need is great, and while the ideal situation for an orphan is really for them to be able to stay in their own country and be adopted by a local family, the need in the Congo is just too gigantic. There are too many children and no resources for their own people to care for them. It is so unbelievably sad. So our hearts were hooked and we made the decision to pursue adoption through the DRC.
Two days after our official "switch" we got an email from our agent. It was pretty simple, maybe just three or four sentences. She wrote to us telling us that there was a baby boy in the Congo ready for adoption if we were interested.
WHAT??? two days?? and we get an unofficial referral?? That just doesn't happen in the world of adoption. It takes months for a "referral"......but then I read the next sentence and it explained why there was such an urgency. This sweet baby boy has some pretty serious medical needs. Ones that may last a life time or perhaps God will choose to heal him of them....we are unsure. (btw we are not at liberty to disclose his specific needs, so please don't be offended if we don't give you the whole scoop).
But despite that last sentence in her email, and the unknown of it all and the cost that it might incur, we just knew that this was our child. I don't know how to explain it. We didn't have his whole file. We didn't get a picture. There was no name. There was nothing to invoke an emotional connection with him. But we both knew it. At different times that day, God said to both of us "you want the 'unadoptable' the 'hard to place'?...well, here he is. And he is yours. "
Although we both felt pretty strongly that we had heard from God, we knew that the responsible thing to do was to continue to pray, research, talk to some doctors, etc. We spent some pretty serious moments seeking God's heart in this and there wasn't a moment it wasn't on our minds.
There was a Sunday that fell in the middle of the days we were praying over this decision. And this was the first thing that popped up on our sermon notes that day...
(what are all of us if we are not adopted by God?...."from rejected to accepted")
and then this was next......
'fulfilling your purpose will take everything you've got'.....read:adoption is not for weenies. suck it up and do the hard things, and do it with everything you've got.
and then there was this one.....
(Shut the front door, Jason Brown. Get OUT OF MY HEAD!!!)
I cried like a baby in church. God answered my questions/fears with scripture (hmmm...imagine that).
1) we are called to Kingdom work (all of us) but this was our chance to play a teeny tiny role int that.
2) This will not be easy. It will take everything we've got.
3) Give our entire attention to what God is doing right. now. And don't let the "unknowns" steal the joy.
So there it was. We made our decision. We had a son!!! And he was sick and needed a family. The race to bring him home began.
Some super great positives about the DRC:
-very short wait time in between referral and judgement
-very short travel time (less than two weeks in country vs. 6 weeks in Uganda)
-the need is immense and so the Congolese people are more supportive of international adoptions
-everything is done for us before we arrive in country by attorneys hired by our agency (which is incredible and totally ethical and legit by the way). The attorneys serve as our "proxy". They have power of attorney over our court case and are able to manage the file from start to finish...which results in our short time in country.
Some negatives about DRC:
-the Congo is not exactly the safest place to travel. Although our agency reassures us that there have been no issues with other families that have traveled, there are warnings against all travel there right now because of the civil strife. So, there will be no sight-seeing during our short stay. Bummer :/
-adoption fees from DRC are much higher than Uganda. Like MUCH higher. The attorneys I mentioned earlier? Well, they don't work for free, and just like in the US, government processing and documentation is not free either. The grand total for all of that is $15,000. Yes. You read that right. That is $15,000 on top of what we have already saved/fundraised/paid in the last year.
I have to be honest here and tell you that when I found this out, I bawled like a big fat wimp. Sure, it's just another bump in the road that will lead us to the baby God has for us. But a $15, 000 bump?!?! That's a mighty big bump to climb over for the Fickeys. I got super discouraged and honestly had a moment where I thought "good grief...this is never. gonna. happen." But, lucky for me I have a pretty steady and unwavering husband, a supportive mom, and some crazy, enthusiastic, nothing-stands-in-our-way friends. God will do this. He will move mountains for this child I know it. We don't have a clear plan for the remaining money we will need yet. But God knows how that's going to happen. And we have faith in that. As one of my crazy enthusiastic friends, Misty, said "I mean it's not like there aren't any planes going to the Congo or something. It's just money. No big deal. " And I'm sure God feels the same way....it's just money, Katie, I've got that.
I know some people may not understand this. They may not understand how we could love someone we have never held. They may think that extra $15,000 is a crazy amount of money to be spending on someone we've never met and is not as healthy as can be. They may think that it's just stupid to take on something so daunting and unknown.... How will it affect the rest of your family? Will your other kids get enough attention? How will you afford it? I totally get it. And I probably would have thought the same thing in recent years. But, here's the deal. For whatever reason, this child is supposed to be in our home and in our family. Our family that already consists of three kids we would die for. And if Brody or Addie or Sam had medical issues, there would be no stopping us from finding the answers and the right doctors. There would be no amount of money that could keep us from getting to them. And I'm sure we are not the only ones that feel that way about our kids. And this baby, well....he's our kid.
So, now we begin our journey to fight the fight for him and bring him home. Will you pray for us? Pray that we are able to move quickly. That he would have good medical care while he is waiting. That God would provide the extra money we need.
We absolutely LOVE our community of friends and believers. As we have shared our story with our closest people, we have gotten nothing but support and love. It warms my heart (and makes me teary) to think about the incredibly special people God has gifted us with in our lives right now. How he ordained these specific close relationships for this specific time in our lives. I wouldn't change it for anything. We know it takes a "village to raise a child" and we are so blessed to be a part of our "village". And we know this baby will get more than enough love when he gets home.
Still think I'm crazy? Watch this video.....the whole thing. It's amazing.
Still think I'm crazy? Watch this video.....the whole thing. It's amazing.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Family
***A good way to know it's been too long since a blogpost..... when you forget what your blog was called so you then must google it. You then click on the first result you see only to find another family's picture on the blog named "our eyes are opened". Suddenly, you become completely convinced someone else hijacked your site. Wha??? How dare they?!! Oh.....wait.....that's not my blog. Clearly, it's been too long.***
So, now that I have rediscovered my blog name and address, I can proceed...ahem.
Ugh. I'm sitting here scratching my head trying to figure out where to even begin this post. So many things have been happening in our hearts over the last few months. We have been able to witness God doing some things we never thought possible. And we have been stirred to do more than we have ever before in our lives. The last few months have been exhausting. Both emotionally and physically. I really can't even start to explain everything, because I am afraid I would a) end up boring you and you would quit reading before the really good part, b) I would not be able to find a stopping point, there is just too much to say.
So, I will skip straight to the good stuff (and by "skip" I mean tell you a really long story)......
We were moving right along with finishing up our home study and beginning our immigration approval. Because of Mitch's business, our taxes got a little complicated and our financial part of it was taking longer than I would have liked. Amidst the waiting for a portion of that to be completed on someone else's end, I began hearing more and more about some corruption happening among the orphan care/adoption process in Uganda.
To make a long story short, this is what the current situation is:
When Ethiopia slowed their adoptions down (quite a bit) a while ago, many families (us included) decided that maybe they should look else where to adopt. Many families went other places, but many have started looking at Uganda. Perfect! Awesome! There are lots of orphans in Uganda. Lots. But, here's the deal....most of those orphans are above the age of 3. Or they are sibling groups. Or HIV+. But that's not who people want to adopt. Most US families want babies. And, honestly, there aren't many of those.
So, here's the ugly part.... where there is a demand, the supply will always rise to meet it. Even if that means unethically. Impoverished families are being talked (coerced even) into relinquishing their children, specifically babies and toddlers, because westerners (even good-hearted westerners) want them and there is money to be made. These families don't realize they may never see their babies again. That they will leave the country and never come back. Ugh. Makes my heart sick.
Now, this is not the norm. But, it IS happening. I have basically annoyed our agency to death asking five million questions about their policies and what they do to ensure that their adoptions have NOTHING to do with this. They have some really good things in place to prevent this, and I trust them. But, there was still this nagging at my heart.
Mitch and I were called into adoption because we wanted to love a child that had no one else to love them. To give them a family and a place at our table. We wanted them to feel the love that only a mother and father have for their child. We were not called into adoption because we wanted a cute little baby. We were not called into adoption because we thought, as middle-class Americans, we could give them a "better life" than what they had in Uganda. I'm pretty sure there are a million families in Uganda that have dirt floors and one shirt each and they still live lives of joy and love. But, there is the big difference....that word....."families".
God asked Mitch and I to adopt to give someone a family. And we knew that we wanted no part of a child being coerced away from theirs. But, what did that mean for us? Where were you pointing us God??
Wellll......after talking and praying and submitting.......we called our social worker and asked her to change our home study to say....gulp....sibling group.
Yes, that's right. We have officially lost our minds.
Now, we did limit the sibling group to just two....because I'm pretty sure MItch would walk right out the door if we had 6 kids. But, we both felt like, after much reading and research, that most sibling groups get over-looked for adoption. Why? Because bringing home two kids, that are two different ages, with two different problems is probably one of the craziest things you can do. BUT....this made us know that because it wasn't the most popular choice, that maybe it was the right one. That these were the kids that needed a family. That by choosing this, we were not being part of the problem, but an actual part of the solution.
There are many many many cons on the list for adopting a sibling group.
#1-The price goes up. A lot. Do we have that money? Nope.
#2 - #15 - Ummm....Hello?? FIVE kids. I will possibly lose all sense of myself. I will most likely lose all privacy. And I will definitely lose my sanity.
But, the pros list just outweighed the cons every time.
Now to be clear, our home study now says EITHER one child under 4, or a sibling group under 8. There are truly still some abandoned baby/toddler/preschool age children, and we know they need a home terribly too. We don't believe that we know every single thing about the way things are happening over there. We know there are lots of legit adoptions of little ones taking place, and praise the Lord for that. But, we also know we can't hide our heads in the sand and pretend we haven't heard the things we have just because we would prefer a younger child. We will still be very thorough when we get a referral. We will ask the tough questions, making sure this child is a true orphan, whether it is a single child or a sibling group.
So, all that to say, whomever we get a referral for, we know it will be God's choice. I can't tell you the peace I feel in that decision. God has brought us down a long, curvy path over the last two years. And I am learning why each and every day. His sovereignty is perfect. I'm not sure why we ever doubt it.
So, now that I have rediscovered my blog name and address, I can proceed...ahem.
Ugh. I'm sitting here scratching my head trying to figure out where to even begin this post. So many things have been happening in our hearts over the last few months. We have been able to witness God doing some things we never thought possible. And we have been stirred to do more than we have ever before in our lives. The last few months have been exhausting. Both emotionally and physically. I really can't even start to explain everything, because I am afraid I would a) end up boring you and you would quit reading before the really good part, b) I would not be able to find a stopping point, there is just too much to say.
So, I will skip straight to the good stuff (and by "skip" I mean tell you a really long story)......
We were moving right along with finishing up our home study and beginning our immigration approval. Because of Mitch's business, our taxes got a little complicated and our financial part of it was taking longer than I would have liked. Amidst the waiting for a portion of that to be completed on someone else's end, I began hearing more and more about some corruption happening among the orphan care/adoption process in Uganda.
To make a long story short, this is what the current situation is:
When Ethiopia slowed their adoptions down (quite a bit) a while ago, many families (us included) decided that maybe they should look else where to adopt. Many families went other places, but many have started looking at Uganda. Perfect! Awesome! There are lots of orphans in Uganda. Lots. But, here's the deal....most of those orphans are above the age of 3. Or they are sibling groups. Or HIV+. But that's not who people want to adopt. Most US families want babies. And, honestly, there aren't many of those.
So, here's the ugly part.... where there is a demand, the supply will always rise to meet it. Even if that means unethically. Impoverished families are being talked (coerced even) into relinquishing their children, specifically babies and toddlers, because westerners (even good-hearted westerners) want them and there is money to be made. These families don't realize they may never see their babies again. That they will leave the country and never come back. Ugh. Makes my heart sick.
Now, this is not the norm. But, it IS happening. I have basically annoyed our agency to death asking five million questions about their policies and what they do to ensure that their adoptions have NOTHING to do with this. They have some really good things in place to prevent this, and I trust them. But, there was still this nagging at my heart.
Mitch and I were called into adoption because we wanted to love a child that had no one else to love them. To give them a family and a place at our table. We wanted them to feel the love that only a mother and father have for their child. We were not called into adoption because we wanted a cute little baby. We were not called into adoption because we thought, as middle-class Americans, we could give them a "better life" than what they had in Uganda. I'm pretty sure there are a million families in Uganda that have dirt floors and one shirt each and they still live lives of joy and love. But, there is the big difference....that word....."families".
God asked Mitch and I to adopt to give someone a family. And we knew that we wanted no part of a child being coerced away from theirs. But, what did that mean for us? Where were you pointing us God??
Wellll......after talking and praying and submitting.......we called our social worker and asked her to change our home study to say....gulp....sibling group.
Yes, that's right. We have officially lost our minds.
Now, we did limit the sibling group to just two....because I'm pretty sure MItch would walk right out the door if we had 6 kids. But, we both felt like, after much reading and research, that most sibling groups get over-looked for adoption. Why? Because bringing home two kids, that are two different ages, with two different problems is probably one of the craziest things you can do. BUT....this made us know that because it wasn't the most popular choice, that maybe it was the right one. That these were the kids that needed a family. That by choosing this, we were not being part of the problem, but an actual part of the solution.
There are many many many cons on the list for adopting a sibling group.
#1-The price goes up. A lot. Do we have that money? Nope.
#2 - #15 - Ummm....Hello?? FIVE kids. I will possibly lose all sense of myself. I will most likely lose all privacy. And I will definitely lose my sanity.
But, the pros list just outweighed the cons every time.
Now to be clear, our home study now says EITHER one child under 4, or a sibling group under 8. There are truly still some abandoned baby/toddler/preschool age children, and we know they need a home terribly too. We don't believe that we know every single thing about the way things are happening over there. We know there are lots of legit adoptions of little ones taking place, and praise the Lord for that. But, we also know we can't hide our heads in the sand and pretend we haven't heard the things we have just because we would prefer a younger child. We will still be very thorough when we get a referral. We will ask the tough questions, making sure this child is a true orphan, whether it is a single child or a sibling group.
Warning: Shameless Plug...
Do you want to help us bring our child(ren) home? Do you want to help the Baker's and the Menn's complete their journey as well?? Well, then sign up for our race NOW!!! It's going to be an amazing time and you won't want to miss it!!Friday, February 10, 2012
Ready to Rock
Sam was sick this week. His fever started on Saturday night and lasted until Wednesday morning. He was puny and coughy and SUPER grumpy. But he got lots of snuggles, warm bubble baths, trips to the doctor, and medicine. When his asthma acted up so badly that he couldn't catch his breath and started gagging and eventually threw up all over his bed, we were there to clean him and his bed up, give him water and his inhaler and tuck him back into bed.
So, why am I telling you all of these gross things??...
Well, one point during this week when he was burning up and sitting in my lap, I had a moment when I thought "our other sweet boy... (side note: have I mentioned I'm pretty sure God has showed me a little boy in our future?) could be getting colds, or bronchiolitis, or a stomach bug, or what have you. And who cleans him up? Who rocks him when he has a fever? Who takes him to the doctor? Does he HAVE a doctor to go to? Does he go to sleep by himself and wake up by himself?"
My heart ached for him (or her....only God knows) and where ever he may be. I don't know this child's plight in life. I don't know who's care he is under right now, if any. But, I do know it made me extremely eager to bring him home. So we could change his sheets and give him medicine when he needs it. And hold him in our laps, rock him and give him comfort. Man, I ache for that as much for him as I do for myself. Although my arms are very busy right now, there are times they just feel....well, empty. Something is missing. Someone. I am eager for them to be filled. With a healthy child, or a sick and puny one. Just one that needs a mama to love him.
If you are wondering where exactly we are in the process.....
We are days away from our home study being submitted and approved. Our social worker is finishing it up. Then, immigration approval/finger prints. Then, our referral for our child. Then dossier is submitted to Uganda. Then court date set. Then travel. THEN....we can bring him (or her) home. And rock. And snuggle. (by the way....by nature I am not a very "snuggly" person per say. So if this makes you want to roll your eyes and even become a little nauseous, I understand and in most cases would be right along side you. But it is what it is. Snuggle. There..I said it again.)
I found this video today about a book that was written for adopted children and adopted children's siblings. It looks adorable and hits home for this mama this week. It's already been ordered and I can't wait to get it....
So, why am I telling you all of these gross things??...
Well, one point during this week when he was burning up and sitting in my lap, I had a moment when I thought "our other sweet boy... (side note: have I mentioned I'm pretty sure God has showed me a little boy in our future?) could be getting colds, or bronchiolitis, or a stomach bug, or what have you. And who cleans him up? Who rocks him when he has a fever? Who takes him to the doctor? Does he HAVE a doctor to go to? Does he go to sleep by himself and wake up by himself?"
My heart ached for him (or her....only God knows) and where ever he may be. I don't know this child's plight in life. I don't know who's care he is under right now, if any. But, I do know it made me extremely eager to bring him home. So we could change his sheets and give him medicine when he needs it. And hold him in our laps, rock him and give him comfort. Man, I ache for that as much for him as I do for myself. Although my arms are very busy right now, there are times they just feel....well, empty. Something is missing. Someone. I am eager for them to be filled. With a healthy child, or a sick and puny one. Just one that needs a mama to love him.
If you are wondering where exactly we are in the process.....
We are days away from our home study being submitted and approved. Our social worker is finishing it up. Then, immigration approval/finger prints. Then, our referral for our child. Then dossier is submitted to Uganda. Then court date set. Then travel. THEN....we can bring him (or her) home. And rock. And snuggle. (by the way....by nature I am not a very "snuggly" person per say. So if this makes you want to roll your eyes and even become a little nauseous, I understand and in most cases would be right along side you. But it is what it is. Snuggle. There..I said it again.)
I found this video today about a book that was written for adopted children and adopted children's siblings. It looks adorable and hits home for this mama this week. It's already been ordered and I can't wait to get it....
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
2nd go-round
Almost a year ago, we began work on a project that would take us down a path we had never been before. One that included creating logos, printing tshirts, soliciting sponsorships (oh my how that one was hard), marking courses, buying medals, organizing race bibs (what?), coordinating volunteers, buying orange hairspray, blowing up bounce houses, and many other random jobs that we either had never done before or had never thought we would ever do in our lifetime.
But, wow. The payoff. God used that little "project" to show us His provision and power. He said "Here. I have a vision for you. Now go do it. And just at the moment that you doubt that you can pull it off, I will step up and finish it for you. And it will be fun. And it will help bring your child home. And then you can help others bring their children home too."
Don't know what I'm talking about? Read this post.
Well, here we are again. One year later and God's vision is still clear. One Less was born in God's heart to bring orphaned and abandoned children home to their forever families. Because adoption is expensive. And the last thing in the world I believe God wants is for families to give up on the idea of adopting because they "can't afford it". Because of course you can't afford it. I don't know many people that have an extra $25,000 lying around (well, none to be exact).
But, I do know quite a few people with generous hearts and obedient spirits that want to help bring children home. And I do know quite a few people who just like to run. :) Soooooo, without further adieu....
But, wow. The payoff. God used that little "project" to show us His provision and power. He said "Here. I have a vision for you. Now go do it. And just at the moment that you doubt that you can pull it off, I will step up and finish it for you. And it will be fun. And it will help bring your child home. And then you can help others bring their children home too."
Don't know what I'm talking about? Read this post.
Well, here we are again. One year later and God's vision is still clear. One Less was born in God's heart to bring orphaned and abandoned children home to their forever families. Because adoption is expensive. And the last thing in the world I believe God wants is for families to give up on the idea of adopting because they "can't afford it". Because of course you can't afford it. I don't know many people that have an extra $25,000 lying around (well, none to be exact).
But, I do know quite a few people with generous hearts and obedient spirits that want to help bring children home. And I do know quite a few people who just like to run. :) Soooooo, without further adieu....
new logo coming soon
One Less is returning!
We will have a 3K walk/run, 3K kids run, 5K run, and new this year by request...10K run!!
For those of you that ran last year, you know that the course is partially paved and partially a trail run which means it is not your ordinary boring road run. It's way better. :)
The course lets you experience the best parts of Spring in the Hill Country: flowers, green grass, giant trees, a lake, and lots of cute baby deer (how could you say no to that?).
Oh, and did I mention the bounce houses, free food, face painting, and music? It's a party.
And this year...the party is gonna be bigger. I have dreams of doubling the size of 2011....of runners. Of sponsors. Of money raised. God can do it.
Because...we have another family adopting in Boerne folks. Which means another waiting child. And another set of eager parents. (details about them coming soon)
So, we've got to bring our A game.
But, we can't do it alone.
So...Are you in? As a runner? Sponsor? Volunteer?
Let me know! And share the info!
Registration will begin soon!!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Growing pains
Do you ever sometimes mentally look back on how far you've come in *blank* years and think..."wow. I was an idiot back then." or "how did we make it through that?" or "I am so glad we are in a different place now" or even the occasional "man, I miss those days"?
I have done this a lot over my adult life. Each year brings growth, whether through joyous times, or painful ones. Each year I've been taught different lessons. Sometimes (most of the time) the hard way. But each year we keep growing. Changing. Evolving. Into something new, different, perfected. There are slower years where you feel like you are just grateful to have made it through. And then there are years when you feel like you are a completely different person than when you started and don't even recognize your old self.
These last two years have seen some of the biggest changes ever for me (us). God has done a mighty work in my (our) heart(s). (Okay, so from now on, I will use the pronoun "us". Because really, God has taken both Mitch and I on identical journeys. And the other way would get annoying.) He has brought us to a place of repentance for a life lived completely selfishly. Chasing a dream that was never meant to be ours in the first place. He has enlightened us to things that we had a blind eye too for way too long. He has brought us redemption and hope by creating new desires in our hearts for things we never even gave a moments thought several years ago.
But, he has also burdened our hearts for our hurting world and will not relinquish us from the thought of it. Everywhere we have turned over the last two years, God has pointed us in the same direction. The impoverished. The hurting. The orphaned.
From books that we've read, to conferences, to sermons, to movies, blogs, events, etc. And God has said the same thing. Over and over and over. "What are you doing? Why did I make you? To further your kingdom with crap? (yes, I am sure He said crap) To pretend like it's okay with me for you to live your life in a safe little bubble and not really care about the hurting? Because if you really cared, then you would be doing something about it. It's time to rise up out of your slumber and get to work. There is too much to be done for you to make excuses anymore." (He went on like that for a while, but I will spare you the details).
So, here we are two years down the road. Still learning. Still trying to figure out exactly what we are supposed to do about all of that. He is continuing to show us things. Every day as a matter of fact.
But, there is one thing He has made clear to me through it all: "wherever I'm calling you to be or whatever I'm calling you to do....bring some peeps with you. As many as you can."
Who, me? Yes, you. Because the harvest is great and the workers are few. Because there is no Plan B in our world. We are it. In small ways or giant ways. It's not an option. It is a mandate. Help the poor, the orphaned, the widows, the homeless, the enslaved. Bring justice to them. THIS is true religion.
I want so badly to wage a war. Right here in Boerne. I want like-minded and like-hearted people to be beside me crying out "Ugh! What can we do to make this better?! What is our role and when can we get started?!" Anyone interested? :)
Is God working on you in similar ways? Do you have a little tiny ember in your heart for the impoverished and don't know whether to blow it out or let it burn the house down? Because in all honesty, blowing it out is much easier. But who wants a dead heart?
Do you have the passion, but need some more information about what you can do to help?
Well...there is an incredible film made by some well-known world ministries (like Compassion, and world hunger fund) called 58:. It shows some really terrible things about the impoverished around the world, but also shows some really amazing things the church is doing about it. It is a life-changing, world-altering movie. You will leave with some pretty unsettling images burned into your brain and an ache in your heart. That is good. That is the Holy Spirit telling you "I have showed you this. Now don't forget it. And do something about it."
What? That sounds like the funnest movie ever, Katie?!! How in the world do I get to see something like that?
Well....it just so happens you're in LUCK! Me and a few on-fire friends of mine are having a screening of this movie for the whole wide world (or just the area of Boerne, to be exact).
It will be this Saturday night at 6pm at Hill Country Crossfit (my new fav place to be...besides my bed of course). We are wanting a packed house! But, would settle for just a select few that God called as well.
HCCF was so gracious to open it's doors to us and will have some snacks and drinks for us during the movie.
Here is our flyer:
Want to check out the film ahead of time? Watch this trailer....
58: THE FILM Trailer from LIVE58NOW on Vimeo.
COME. Watch. Be inspired to do something outside of yourself.
Who knows what the coming year will bring....but I know that when I am in January 2013, I want to be able to say "wow. I only thought I knew you God. Thank you for showing me so much more." Do you want to be able to say the same? God wants to show you something. I promise you won't be sorry.
I have done this a lot over my adult life. Each year brings growth, whether through joyous times, or painful ones. Each year I've been taught different lessons. Sometimes (most of the time) the hard way. But each year we keep growing. Changing. Evolving. Into something new, different, perfected. There are slower years where you feel like you are just grateful to have made it through. And then there are years when you feel like you are a completely different person than when you started and don't even recognize your old self.
These last two years have seen some of the biggest changes ever for me (us). God has done a mighty work in my (our) heart(s). (Okay, so from now on, I will use the pronoun "us". Because really, God has taken both Mitch and I on identical journeys. And the other way would get annoying.) He has brought us to a place of repentance for a life lived completely selfishly. Chasing a dream that was never meant to be ours in the first place. He has enlightened us to things that we had a blind eye too for way too long. He has brought us redemption and hope by creating new desires in our hearts for things we never even gave a moments thought several years ago.
But, he has also burdened our hearts for our hurting world and will not relinquish us from the thought of it. Everywhere we have turned over the last two years, God has pointed us in the same direction. The impoverished. The hurting. The orphaned.
From books that we've read, to conferences, to sermons, to movies, blogs, events, etc. And God has said the same thing. Over and over and over. "What are you doing? Why did I make you? To further your kingdom with crap? (yes, I am sure He said crap) To pretend like it's okay with me for you to live your life in a safe little bubble and not really care about the hurting? Because if you really cared, then you would be doing something about it. It's time to rise up out of your slumber and get to work. There is too much to be done for you to make excuses anymore." (He went on like that for a while, but I will spare you the details).
So, here we are two years down the road. Still learning. Still trying to figure out exactly what we are supposed to do about all of that. He is continuing to show us things. Every day as a matter of fact.
But, there is one thing He has made clear to me through it all: "wherever I'm calling you to be or whatever I'm calling you to do....bring some peeps with you. As many as you can."
Who, me? Yes, you. Because the harvest is great and the workers are few. Because there is no Plan B in our world. We are it. In small ways or giant ways. It's not an option. It is a mandate. Help the poor, the orphaned, the widows, the homeless, the enslaved. Bring justice to them. THIS is true religion.
I want so badly to wage a war. Right here in Boerne. I want like-minded and like-hearted people to be beside me crying out "Ugh! What can we do to make this better?! What is our role and when can we get started?!" Anyone interested? :)
Is God working on you in similar ways? Do you have a little tiny ember in your heart for the impoverished and don't know whether to blow it out or let it burn the house down? Because in all honesty, blowing it out is much easier. But who wants a dead heart?
Do you have the passion, but need some more information about what you can do to help?
Well...there is an incredible film made by some well-known world ministries (like Compassion, and world hunger fund) called 58:. It shows some really terrible things about the impoverished around the world, but also shows some really amazing things the church is doing about it. It is a life-changing, world-altering movie. You will leave with some pretty unsettling images burned into your brain and an ache in your heart. That is good. That is the Holy Spirit telling you "I have showed you this. Now don't forget it. And do something about it."
What? That sounds like the funnest movie ever, Katie?!! How in the world do I get to see something like that?
Well....it just so happens you're in LUCK! Me and a few on-fire friends of mine are having a screening of this movie for the whole wide world (or just the area of Boerne, to be exact).
It will be this Saturday night at 6pm at Hill Country Crossfit (my new fav place to be...besides my bed of course). We are wanting a packed house! But, would settle for just a select few that God called as well.
HCCF was so gracious to open it's doors to us and will have some snacks and drinks for us during the movie.
Here is our flyer:
Want to check out the film ahead of time? Watch this trailer....
58: THE FILM Trailer from LIVE58NOW on Vimeo.
COME. Watch. Be inspired to do something outside of yourself.
Who knows what the coming year will bring....but I know that when I am in January 2013, I want to be able to say "wow. I only thought I knew you God. Thank you for showing me so much more." Do you want to be able to say the same? God wants to show you something. I promise you won't be sorry.
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