Sad news....

So remember in my last post when I mentioned the delegation from the US Department of State coming to Kinshasa at the same time as we were there? Well, today we got an update. And it wasn't good news.

We were able to listen in on a conference call set up by the Dept of State, the US Citizen and Immigration Service, and the US Embassy in Kinshasa. Adoption agencies who had programs in the DRC and adoptive families whose children are stuck in country were able to take part as well.

First of all, let me mention what an AMAZING thing it is that our Department of State has taken part in this and is doing this much for these kids and this program. This is not the norm in the international adoption world. We are so grateful that our government has taken such efforts to travel to DRC, to meet with officials, to try and convince them of the legitimacy and integrity of the American adoption process, and then to relay the info back to us. For all the ways our government has frustrated us in this process, they have more than made up for it in the way they have handled this. So cheers America. Well, done.

Now, the bad news. Just to catch you up..,the DGM (which is like the Congo's state department) is the agency that issues the exit letter to the Congolese adopted child saying they can take their valid US Visa and their completely vetted US parents and actually leave the country, shut down back in September. This "temporary closure" happened because some officials had heard reports that homosexuals were adopting Congolese children and/or that Americans were abusing the children once back in the states. Now, I can't speak to these specific reports. What I can speak to is that now there are children stuck in their country. Children with families. I heard parents crying on this teleconference today. Their babies are sick and need medical treatment. Or their spouse is stuck in the country because when they thought they could come home with their kids back in September they stayed and waited and waited for their exit letter (all the while bonding with their new child) and now refuse to leave without their babies. That's SIX MONTHS now y'all. So families are split up as one spouse cares for their Congolese child and the other stays in the States working and caring for their other children. I just cannot even imagine.

So, the basic news that they gave us from their trip was this: The DGM won't let anyone tell them what to do and they will re-open when they want to. Which will not be any sooner than SEPTEMBER.

This is definitely NOT the news we wanted to hear. This is NOT what we were hoping for nor what we expected. This news to an already fragile heart right now has sunk me a little deeper into sadness. Josiah needs to be home with us now. At any given moment, I am picturing what he would be doing at that exact moment if he had come home with us. Sam on a tricycle...of course Jose would be riding on the back. Dinner time...always that empty chair that sits there. Of course Jose would probably NOT be sitting in it, but he would definitely be crawling all around it. Everything just seems so incomplete now. This was hard news.

It's so easy to be angry at the DGM. At the Congolese government. At Congolese people as a whole sometimes. It's easy to point fingers and blame certain entities for the languishing of orphans when they could be set in families (and I should also mention that Americans are not the only nation adopting from DRC. Canada, France, Italy, and Belgium adopt more children than Americans do, actually). Mitch and I left for the Congo two weeks ago thinking that we had a good grasp on their history and their present, but as we discovered...we had no idea. We have learned so much more. I have become obsessed with reading anything I can, probably just trying to make sense of the things that we saw and experienced while we were there.

I have to choose to not be angry at them. Because we just don't know what it has been like or continues to be like for them. I have had people say to me (mostly from people who have been to Uganda or Ethiopia or other fairly settled countries) as I explain the Congo, "oh yeah, Africa, it's so crazy there." But y'all. It's so beyond that. My heart physically hurts as I read and know more. Like why the hell don't we know about this? Why don't we know that in some ways, the American government is responsible for this?

Did you know that the DRC is the POOREST country in the world? That it holds the title of MOST DANGEROUS COUNTRY FOR WOMEN? That the WORST WAR SINCE WWII took place in Congo? That it is the MOST CORRUPT COUNTRY in the world? That it is THE RAPE CAPITAL?

Are you kidding me? If you care at all about Jose's country or better yet, if you care at all about humanity and hurting people, I encourage you to read THIS ARTICLE. It gives the best overview of the history of violence and oppression in DRC and also doesn't gloss over the fact that the West played a pretty vital role in that.

So, as much as I hate this. As much as I want to find someone to hate and cuss about, I can't let myself find the scapegoat in the Congolese government and people. From where I sit, in my cushy American house, these people are doing the best they can. They may hate American adoption, and they may not be able to care for their orphans themselves and that may confuse the hell out of me, but being angry and hateful makes me not be able to hurt for them. And I do. And you should too.

I have had some thoughts recently that what I had hoped from the beginning that our adoption story would maybe inspire someone someday to adopt internationally (because let me remind you again the need is REAL. And these babies are REAL.) has more realistically driven people to RUN away from international adoption. Even the people who have a HUGE heart for adoption have said to me "yeah, that's crazy. And there are kids here. So we choose adoption through foster care". And let me tell you, I would probably have too if I had witnessed this as a bystander.

But, I am still praying. I am still hopeful that someone out there will choose to fight for these kids. For just ONE kid SOMEwhere. Even if it's a three year PAINFUL journey like ours. And that you have to sacrifice and scrape and fundraise to make it happen. Because in all the ways I have doubted this journey we are on, I am more confident than ever that we were called to international adoption and that we are called to advocate for the international orphan.

So, we will keep fighting for our ONE kid SOMEwhere. Because he matters. And we love him. And my heart hurts thinking we will probably not get to celebrate his birthday with him AGAIN.

But, God showed me this verse this week in my quiet time, and I have decided it's my new life motto. I may even get it tattooed somewhere.
It's the story of David handing over the building of the temple to Solomon. David says to him "Take this seriously. The Lord has chosen you. So be strong, and do the work."

BE STRONG AND DO THE WORK. So, I choose to suck it up, choose love and compassion instead of anger, and do the work. The work of loving a kid so far away and getting ready to bring him home some day. Because it WILL happen.

David ends his speech to Solomon by saying, "Don't be discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord, my God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." What a gift this was to read this this week and have it so engraved on my heart before today.