Our trip

This blog post is long. And it might be too much detail for most of you. But I tried in my mind to boil this trip down to just a few main points, and it was just too hard. There are too many times God protected us and guided us and allowed us to fall totally in love with this kid and it's worth sharing. 

So, if you get bored and give up, I won't blame you. But if you make it through this crazy story there is a little gift for you in the end….a video of the cutest kid ever.

Day 1:

We traveled to Atlanta only to arrive late because of rain and ran, RAN, to our next gate for our connection to Paris only to arrive completely out of breath and too late. We were sent to the help desk where we waited for someone to fix this gigantic problem. I was beyond frustrated. Knowing that each missed connection meant longer until we got there. I may have cried a little. I also may have wanted to yell at someone until they fixed our problem. But obviously that would not have helped (we saw many people doing this and no, it did not get them to their destination any faster). God matched us up with this precious and fire-y French woman who worked and worked to make it right. It did mean we had to stay in Atlanta overnight with no luggage. And it did mean the only flight we could make was a 16 hour one to Johannesburg where we didn't even have seats together. But, they extended our trip on the other end so we ended up with more time in Kinshasa than we would have to begin with. Grateful.

Day 2:

Still traveling. Not really sure what time it is or what time zone we are in, we arrive in South Africa for a short layover before flying to Kinshasa. Trouble with our boarding passes. More time spent in line trying to fix the problem.

We finally board the plane for Kinshasa. I prayed and read Psalm 91 the entire time. I was beyond nervous about arriving in the DRC. We knew that coming into the country with our travel visas could be tricky and we knew just enough about the security/police force there to make us feel uncomfortable. This turned out to be completely justified.

The Kinshasa airport is tiny and old. We got off the plane on the tarmac and walked to the passport entry area. Somehow we ended up last in line. And of course we are pretty easily identifiable as Americans, so without going into too much detail, there were lots of dirty looks, some bribes requested, guards following us, and people scamming us. Welcome to KINSHASA! :) God, once again, proved faithful and put a local girl who was traveling as well there to help us. She interpreted for us, she stood up to them for us and she stayed with us until our driver came to pick us up. (Did I mention this was all happening around midnight which made it seem so much more dramatic?)

Deep breath as we crawled into the car with the driver and our attorney. And then the driving began. No more deep breaths. When you picture crazy driving, you probably picture Mexico. Mexico doesn't hold a candle to this. Trust me.  Swerving, honking, people crossing the boulevard and no one even slows down, people hanging out of vans, sitting on top of vans, smashed inside the vans. It was amazing and scary at the same time.

We finally arrived at the guest house and tried to get a good nights sleep knowing we were meeting J the next day.

Day 3:

We had asked for J's foster mom to come as well as an interpreter so we could talk with her and they arrived mid morning. She had dressed him in his nicest clothes and he came walking up like he was supposed to be there all along. What a crazy moment it was to see in person the boy you have been praying for and loved for three years. There he was...those eyes, lips, little bow-legs we had only seen in pictures. And he didn't know who the heck we were. We were honestly, probably the first white people he had ever seen. It didn't seem to matter that much to him though.

We were able to chat with Mama Miss for a few hours as well as walk to the store across the street so she could show us what he liked to eat (which we found out was EVERYTHING). She told us how strong, brave, and friendly he was. And also warned us that he breaks EVERYTHING. You could tell she loved him. (But you could also tell she was ready for a break!)

Then they left. The attorneys, the interpreter, the foster mama. It was just us and him. Mama Miss had right away told him we were Mama and Papa and he called us that from the first minute. How sweet it was to hear that from his mouth. He was confused at first, for sure. I know from reading tons about adoptive children, that easy attachment is not necessarily a good thing, if they attach super quick to you it means they can attach super quick to anyone. He didn't do that. He was friendly but guarded. He cried when Mama Miss left but we were able to comfort him and distract him. It's amazing how much bonding can be had over a tiny ball or a puzzle.


Day 4-6:

We spent the majority of our time just playing. Reading books, wandering around in the courtyard at the guest house, frantically searching the French dictionary to figure out what he was saying, only to realize that he was saying it in Lingala instead. We taught him some English words, like eyes, nose, mouth, yucky, and NO. We quickly discovered he had probably not been told "No" that much in his life.

The excitement of being with him was soon met with the reality that this is a TODDLER. And an ACTIVE toddler at that. We haven't had a toddler in a few years and had to remind ourselves quickly how different that is! But he was so easy to teach and love. He was full of life and never stopped moving and dancing. We also discovered that we are pretty sure he is older than they guessed. The size 6 shoes I brought for him didn't begin to fit and some of the clothes I brought for an 18-24 month old didn't either. He has great gross and fine-motor skills and lots of vocabulary (even if we didn't know most of it).

First day...wasn't so sure about us. 

He was amazing. We saw how undeniably perfect he fits into our family. He imitates everything (perfect for big brothers) and wants to be with you and hold your hand (perfect for big sister). He will bring such life and joy to our house (and he will probably break a bunch of stuff too).

We soaked up every second. Playing, napping, eating, chasing lizards and balls, showering (he had never done that before...only sponge baths), and sleeping and cuddling. While a little guarded the first day, we saw him warm up and giggle and laugh and love us back. You could tell he doesn't get attention and interaction like that. We know Mama Miss loves him and cares for him, but culture-wise, all the interaction and attention we gave him was new to him. Mitch made the observation that it was almost like he didn't know how to just flat out giggle. Like pee your pants giggle. Mitch made sure to tickle and flip and throw him a ton to break him in. And by the end, we heard some real belly laughs.

We left the guest house just a few times. We drove out to a chimpanzee preserve way out of town and saw a lot of life in Kinshasa. It was crazy. Beyond what I could have ever thought. The people are beautiful and busy. They work hard and have little. The people of the Congo have been through SO.MUCH. Like it blows my mind how, since the days of Belgium colonization, their lives have been filled with violence and oppression. This has affected their culture, their attitude towards westerners, their family structures, their safety. It has affected everything.

I have to be honest and tell you that because of extremely false information spread by a select few in DRC, the idea of Americans adopting Congolese is not hugely popular. (there was a rumor that adoptive Americans were selling babies for their organs. What.) This made me feel constantly watched and fairly uncomfortable. But there was never once that I doubted our calling to Josiah there. The need in DRC is unimaginable. Hundreds of kids are abandoned and orphaned constantly. The orphanages have no support, so most kids end up on the street. There is little being done to help families stay together. Mostly because the government structure is weak and most western countries' churches are too fearful to serve in missions there. Local fostering doesn't happen without adoptive support. And most families are already caring for other additional children. So the need was never in question, but we did have to choose to be sensitive and thoughtful about our actions while we were there (which meant we didn't parade around town while holding Josiah).

We were able to spend a lot of time with our interpreter, Billy, who consequently became our friend. He shared a lot of insight with us about this country that he loved so much. These people are hungry for the gospel. They are hungry for their country to be more than it is or has been. We met Billy's brother who is a pastor at a tiny urban church (which he built with his own two hands). They are eager and in need of ministry partners and we were so happy God led us to this relationship. We know God ordained this friendship and opened our eyes to this for a reason. We pray that we are faithful to the things God laid before us and that more people will be led to Jesus as a result.

Day 7:

This is the day we had to hand Josiah back over. Wait. Have I mentioned that his name there is Jose? Not like the Spanish Jose (Hose-ay) but the French Jose (Jo-say). Which we loved and called him the whole time we were there.

I dreaded this moment. I actually laid awake the night before and bawled my eyes out fearing this moment. We knew what we were getting into. We knew this is how it would end. But it was still hard. I held it together pretty well and he was happy to see Mama Miss and also to get to ride in a car (also something he doesn't do very often). He waved and they drove off.

We know this isn't the last time we will see him. We know that he is OURS and we will be able to bring him home at some point. But the waiting. Ugh. Now the waiting seems so much harder.

We were able to spend a good amount of time with our attorney discussing our case and the Embassy investigation. While we were there, a delegation from the US Department of State came to Kinshasa and visited with DRC officials to figure out how to solve the problems. Our attorney was confident that the issue will be resolved and had good insights into our case as well. We felt like our questions were answered and our issues were put to rest.

There is not much that we can do on our end. We will continue to communicate with the Embassy and nudge our case forward. We will pray for the delegation from the DRC that will be traveling to the US next week to visit DRC adoptive families. We pray they will be convinced that these kids are happy and healthy (with ALL their organs) here with their new families and will lift the suspension on Exit Letters within the month.

The time was short there so we were urged by our agency the day before we left to wait until our next trip to visit the orphanage. I was sad we weren't going to get the chance to deliver all the small gifts everyone had donated, but knew she was probably right. Our time was limited and the reason we were going this time was just to meet and bond with J. We still have them and will definitely be visiting on our next trip. Thank you for your hearts for those orphans. The cars and crayons and stuffed animals will make a trip to Africa, I promise.

Coming home was a whirlwind of more airport problems and long and delayed flights. But, it hit me hard once we were finally home that our house now feels a little empty. It's definitely missing a lively 2 year old little boy.

I am so confident in the decision we made to travel and visit Josiah. I know there were some who questioned our reasoning a little bit, and I understand. I probably would too. But, we have zero regrets. We left a photo book of us and the kids with J as well as a recordable story book and the other toys we played with while we were together. This kid is smart. He will remember us, I'm sure of it.

So, if you're still reading, thank you. I hope that wasn't a waste of your time. Thank you for praying for us. God shook my world a little bit (maybe a lot) and it was comforting knowing we weren't really alone.

Now, enjoy a minute of the pure delight we got to experience for 5 days

Josiah from Katie on Vimeo.