It has been almost exactly ONE year since Mitch and I had that talk driving in our car. The one where he said randomly, "So, you know how we talked about adoption awhile ago? Well, I think I am on board." I vividly remember that day thinking, "This is it! We are doing this! By this time next year, we will have a baby girl from Ethiopia in our family and home with us."
So, here we are. One year later. No waiting list. No referral. No baby.
This year has been a crazy roller coaster. If you have followed our story at all you have probably noticed that. And possibly have even grown tired of hearing about it. But if you haven't or if you are just really in need of some torturous recapping.......
-We decided on Ethiopia in September. Researched and contacted agencies. Found one we liked but were told our addition on our house had to be completely done before we could move forward. So we waited. But the money to finish our addition wasn't there. Actually money for our life in general was seeming to get more and more sparse. But we were faithful in saving and raising money. I was convinced Ethiopia was the place for us. And that specific agency was the way to go.
- Found out that agency had been wrong. Our social worker ultimately wouldn't care about the finality of our house, but rather about the emotional health of our family (and to clarify, of course wouldn't want rusty old nails laying around or anything...). So, we decided to find another agency and start everything again. We found an agency and a social worker. Then (and I need to clarify here that we really hadn't done any important paperwork stuff up to this point, just general things that hadn't required any fees) our new agency informed us that Ethiopia was slowing their adoptions down from about 50 a day to 1 or 2. So families would now be expected to wait up to 3 years for their child. That was a sad day. I had been completely convinced that Ethiopia was our only option. God knew better.
- We found out that Uganda had opened up just a short time ago and several agencies had started pilot programs there. Our hearts began to grow for Uganda. Meanwhile we were planning our fundraiser race (One Less 5K) and decided we would focus on that and see where we were financially after all of that was over. The race was incredible. We raised a pretty good amount of money. But were still fairly far (about $13,000) away from the amount that we needed.
Which brings us to this summer (recap over and current story begins)......
We started slowly doing some of the "paper chase" stuff for our social worker and waiting on the actual adoption. Waiting for what? I'm not sure. There were lots of things to blame our waiting on. Money. Work. Illness. I am embarrassed to say, but feel the prompting to tell you, that I felt as if compared to all the other things happening with us and around us, this adoption felt......silly. selfish. and ill-timed. And this made me....well....just flat out sad. I knew in my heart that this was part of our story. That God had called us to adoption.
But, we (I believe I am speaking for both Mitch and I) let that idiot Satan get in our heads and tell us "oh, just wait. you are kind of broke. and this is a really inconvenient time. for everyone. there are bigger things happening and it's really just pretty selfish of you to want to do it now. maybe someday soon. just not now." And let me tell you (in case you were wondering)......I know those words did not come from God. There was never. not one time. a peace in my heart about it. I wrestled with it constantly. I felt guilty. Mitch and I argued. And if there is anything I know about God vs Satan it is this....Satan is full of lies and unrest. You will never feel peaceful about the decisions you make based on his prompting. Even the thought "well, we will do it soon. You know, whenever (fill in the blank) is over...", never brought true comfort. And I am so glad it didn't. What a waste of a life is someone who allows Satan to talk them into being complacent.
As our pastor always says (and I like to remind my sweet precious angel children often) "delayed obedience is disobedience". We may have thought we would "do it soon....", but deep in our hearts, we knew we were being disobedient. God called us into action. A year ago. Yes, we do completely believe that God used this last year to grow us. To change our hearts about certain things (which I will share another day) and to bring us to this place of repentance.
We know this road is difficult. We know that our personal finances are not what we would love them to be. We know that we do not have enough money saved to pay for this adoption full out. But we also know that we cannot continue to live this life of disobedience. Whether well-intentioned or not, it is still a complacent life. And one we are ready to leave.
So.........last Friday we mailed off our official application to Little Miracles International to adopt whatever God chooses for us (boy or girl, age 0-3) from Uganda and will be signing the contract by the end of this week. Our new home study will begin next week with a different social worker (We had to switch due to an accreditation problem with our previous one. I should also mention here that God saved us again from having to pay any serious high fees to our other social worker.).
We have jumped off head first (which I guess is really just called "diving". Whatev. You know what I mean.). God has ignited our hearts again. He has redeemed us from the last 6 months of waiting on nothing. And has reassured us that He will provide for whatever He has called us to do. "God funds what He favors"....I have heard a lot these days. We are reminding ourselves of that daily. Especially when we see a pile of bills on our counter. :/
Thank you for reading. Thank you to our friends that have had to listen to the drama that seems to have been this story and for still being excited when we said we finally mailed off a FOR REAL application (you know who you are). Thank you for encouraging us and loving us no matter what. Thank you for sticking with these sinful humans who are just trying to figure out what God wants from them. I feel like we got it right this time. Finally.
Katie, I loved reading this and wish you the best of luck with the adoption. Luck probably isn't the right word to use because I do believe you have God's favor on your side and this adoption will be blessed by Him. I will look for updates!
ReplyDeleteSarah